My Bodycare Supplement Routine

OK, I know it'll never happen in THIS lifetime! But one can dream?

It was back in August that I swore that I'd write a post about a vitamin/supplement routine I'd been on for what seemed like "forever." And yet I've hesitated to write about it. Why?

I suppose my hesitation to endorse this line is because I hate sounding as if I've bought into yet another doctor's line of supplements. I've taken enough of them over the years and have very mixed feelings about the whole issue of doctors selling or endorsing products. I know, call me old-fashioned, but I do remember when doctors couldn't even advertise. Yep, that's the way I like my doctors: unadvertised and without commercial. Furthermore, I HAVE tried various doctor's lines of vitamins and supplements and they've never done me a bit of good, other than to throw away good money.

But about a year ago, I started taking Murad's "Firm and Tone Dietary Supplement" daily packettes.  I'd seen them advertised and turned my back on them until I got to the point where I thought, "I really DO need to start back on a good vitamin and supplement regime."  (Yes, I've started talking to myself: it's a genetic thing!)  

I've done vitamins and supplements over the years in a major way, sorting them into those pill boxes, carefully investigating everyone's opinion, reading all I can get my hands on as to what is good or helpful, especially for the person with CFIDS/ME/CFS and/or fibromyalgia.  At different stages of my life, I've taken up to 50 pills/capsules a day, not including my prescription meds.  I've fine-tuned according to my needs, with supplements such as CoQ10, milk thistle, enzymes and the list goes on and on.  At times I felt as if I were spending my life keeping up with filling those little Sunday-Saturday, 4 times a day compartments pallettes, in plural.  I always felt better, but it was a royal pain in the behind, not to mention awfully time-consuming and expensive.

Somehow I conveniently fell out of the vitamin and supplement habit but after the near-fatal and also long-term damage of the "compartment syndrome surgeries" episode of a year ago, I knew I had to fight back in a major way.  After all, I'd had fluid around all my major organs (abasarka), had renal failure, had come close to pancreatitis (jury is still out on that) and the brown stuff in my urine bag in the hospital was the tissue breaking down and leaving my body (rhabdomyolysis).  It took two blood transfusions to save my life.  

When I finally arrived home, I knew that I needed to start taking care of my body in a serious way.  The plastic surgeon, a gentle, jolly bear of a man, found nothing amusing at all with my situation and since he was a surgeon, had no way of comprehending all the stuff that was going on with me aside from the surgeries he'd performed to save my arm/hand and life.  He flatly told me that he could never understand all the mysterious goings-on with the CFIDS/ME/CFS and fibromyalgia and all THOSE issues.  He just knew that I'd had a close call and could see that somehow I wasn't getting the message that my health and what had transpired was no laughing matter.  Bummer.  I really like to make people laugh, but he was in no laughing mood when he'd see me.  When I joked that he must see this stuff - the acute compartment syndrome, etc. - every day, he looked at me seriously and said, "No, thank God, I do NOT see this sort of thing often.  And you don't have an easy road ahead of you."  Gulp.  Killjoy!

So, I thought I'd slowly go back to taking vitamins and supplements.  I knew I wasn't up for the charts I'd made for all the complex plans I had before of not over-dosing on too much of one thing and not enough of another. Therefore, when I started seeing the Murad line of supplements being touted, I thought, "here we go again. SUCKER!"

Imagine my surprise, when I discovered that they were actually making a difference!  My legs were getting a bit veiny (understatement) since there was so little muscle to hold those veins in place.  My skin tone, which had been problematic only in the upper arm area, was now an issue all over.  It was extremely difficult for me to breathe after all the stress on my heart and lungs. I was bloated but my skin was dehydrated.  As if I hadn't had enough issues, I now had so many more.

I felt like a fool.  I cringe saying that I even tried the program.  If anything, the descriptions all over the box are as silly, blatant and worthy of the best headlines that New York Daily News (famous for its cheesy headlines) could come up with.  It was better than anything that the Kellogg and Battle Creek people from the beginning of the 20th century could come up with when they tried to get Americans to start eating healthy. (We've been a country of unhealthy eaters for much longer than we think!)

After a week or so of taking the Murad supplements, I thought that surely the positive results I was seeing were a figment of my imagination.  It had to be ME being a sucker.  How in the world could my skin actually start firming up in just a few weeks with no exercise to go hand in hand?  How could I be eating less and my appetite be under better control within just a few weeks?  Even the Murad people weren't claiming that I'd want to eat less.

And just as I was telling myself I was a Madison Avenue ad executive's dream come true, I happened upon Caroline Hirons' blog and after reading some of her posts I found that she too was puzzled about the sudden fullness of appetite she was experiencing.  Now, Caroline Hirons is one of those women who has a bunch of credentials as well as street cred when it comes to the beauty world and especially the skincare world.  She's completely irreverent (which I love) but so spot on.  Her blog is one I have on the sidebar as a blog I follow - or at least try to - because anytime I remember to check her blog out, I come away with tons of knowledge or validation I strongly need.

So, when I saw that Caroline Hirons was endorsing Murad, I thought, well, I suppose I'll buy another supply of those boxes of packettes and give it another month's try.

What do they include?

• A multi-vitamin (absolutely essential but I always forget!)
• Connective support complex supplements (now we're talking business!)
• Essential Fatty Acids (which help skin cells attract water)
• Cell Energizers (be still my heart -well, not TOO still!)

Why do I love them?

First, I've made it pretty clear that I'm awful about taking any of my meds in a timely fashion.  I either can't find them (and they're laid out in a dish next to my bed as of 6PM each evening!) or I can't find the little Sunday through Saturday pill box (in yellow so it doesn't blend in with the bed linens) that hold my ONE thyroid pill for the AM.  If I need to go on an antibiotic four times a day, all bets are off.  I can't do ANYTHING every day - other than eat - much less a few times a day, so we're not doing well in the thyroid department. I'm an all or nothing person: either my life is nothing but taking supplements and meds all day and nothing else gets done, or my life is reading/watching TV and no meds or supplements get taken.  I know.  It's time to get over it, but I'm a very OLD dog!  New tricks are hard to learn, and if it hasn't happened in the last four decades, I'll venture to say it'll never happen.

With the Murad "Firm and Tone" ... Ok, I have to stop. Can ANYONE out there say that with a straight face?  I mean, really?  Why not just tell us we can take supplements and our faces will look like Elizabeth Taylor's reincarnated at the height of her beauty?

So, getting back on track (and yes, it took me five minutes to stop laughing enough in order to continue)...

The packettes are divided into four "compartments," two of which you take in the AM and two you take in the PM.  Well, that's never going to happen in my lifetime!  (That's what all the ABOVE stuff was about: to make you understand how hopeless a case I am!)  

The first month I ended up with a bunch of PM's and finally decided that I'll just take both AM and PM supplements in the late afternoon.  I know, you should probably take some before eating, some with a meal, some after a meal.  However, I finally decided that my life is too short to get that straight.  Like I said, it's never going to happen.  So which is best?  No supplements ever or all at some point?   Yes, I think you see my point.  All in one go it is.

The only precautions I do make?  I don't take the supplements around my thyroid AM med taking - whenever that might happen to be because of my sleeping "issues."  I understand that there may be a calcium issue (if it IS indeed an issue: I've yet to talk to my endocrinologist about timing of food, etc.).  I also don't take the supplements close to "bedtime" because one of the PM meds I take is Neurontin.  Neurontin and magnesium cancel each other out.  Other than that, I'm just glad I can take something with a minimum of effort and a minimum of worry.

So, yes, I've been back on the Murad for the last two weeks and they are as great as I remember them.  I'm probably on my fourth or fifth box of them now.  I've gone off of the Murad for periods and then back on - it's one of those "out of sight, out of mind things" with me, as well as "am I imagining this?" and yes, I can definitely see a huge change in my skin tone. 

Just a few of the improvements I've seen thus far, as of my January 1 resolution in terms of weight and all that "nonsense":

• my skin's elasticity has improved (big time!)
•  my sore throat, lymph node problem and mouth sores seem to have improved
•  my posture has unexpectedly improved
•  my muscles have strengthened

That's it so far, and this from a person who never really notices things unless they are drastic and you'd have to be a moron not to notice.  Honestly, I'm truly impossible.

However, yesterday I got off the sofa by my bed without touching the arms of the sofa, just my legs lifting my body up, the way things used to be in the "old days."  It was purely instinctual, not at all premeditated.  And please keep in mind that just a month ago, hubs was having to push me towards the middle of the bed each night, with me howling at him to get his filthy paws off of me - OK, I slightly exaggerate about the "paws" thing.  However, for some odd reason (?), hubs didn't want me falling out of bed yet again.  But I didn't like the manhandling and I was just too weak to be moved from the edge of the bed.

So if for no other reason than marital bliss, I highly recommend this supplement routine. Forget the Madison Avenue bull.  Just consider taking the supplements and see if they work for you!

As always, I hope everyone's feeling their very best, only better.  Ciao and paka!

Confession's Good For The Soul?

                 This child will hopefully never have a weight problem: he keeps farmer's hours!


I must confess.  Yesterday I "sinned" and I can't handle holding that secret.  It is making me go bonkers to have allowed anyone at all hear me declaring the definite steps I'll be taking in my conquering, to my best, my CFIDS/ME/fibro/migraines/sleep disorders, etc., to arrive at a bit of a true-blue "not looking too shabby for her age" for my upcoming birthday in October and me not doing it.  As I'm sure half the world knows by now (delusions of grandeur?), I went into a Herxheimer-like reaction after KL.  Things were catching up with me from the compartment syndrome surgeries, not to mention two years of living on the edge with my daughter's sudden illness which stopped our entire family's lives cold as we rallied and fought to keep her going.  And these are just the high points.


We're into year 3 of remodeling (walls going up or down, the house being totally reconfigured), though I see I won't be getting my dream kitchen, even modified, any time soon.  This is a huge set-back because I had remodeled it on paper where I could do a bit of bossing around as I lounged in a semi-family room (thus getting me out of bed!) looking out on a lovely garden (perhaps even going out for a bit now and then) and in the other direction, instructing whomever on cooking and baking.   To me, the kitchen is sacred because it's truly the heart of the home. (Cliché but true!)


But really and truly, I definitely do think that there's something new, majorly wrong with me, that which started affecting me back in November, which, in its own way, started me into a downward spiral.  I'm not being very helpful to my doctors as I don't know how to explain this new malignant feeling, whatever it may be, and really, where does one begin?  But blood work has been ordered as everyone scratches their heads and I can't be more useful in my description, seemingly having run out of all descriptions and besides, working hard on just hanging in there.  Think about it: good thing I was a English lit major - how else could I have supplied so many descriptions over the years?  Well, that mine gave out a while ago. Now the docs are on their own for the most part.


But going back to the confession.  Just as I was FINALLY almost off all sugar ("detoxing" was really and truly hard this time), I ate something I never eat anymore: potato chips!


Now the good news is that afterwards I slept - and well.  The bad news is I ate a huge bag of chips. And y'all just know it didn't stop there!  Ben and Jerry's followed with brownies.  Yuck!  


But I'm officially washing the slate clean and starting anew.  So here are the latest things I'm going to work on because we are talking about a beached whale here!  (Too ill to do much moving, BP perilously low, nothing helping pain, blacking out each time I get up, migraines galore, all senses heightened even more than the usual...you get my drift.)


- So, on the diet front, eating "my healthy way" is just not gelling as well as usual, though I will certainly keep on trying.  I have to.  I need to feel better.  Hubby better get into this but a problem is that just last week he made me a wonderful salmon dinner and I almost barfed.  (Uh...I guess anything that swims is out.)


- After yesterday's post about the hormones and sleep, I must come up with a better sleep plan.  I've been thinking of various ways to work on this (as if I haven't all these decades?) but I hope yesterday's post was a huge shot in the arm, or kick to my be-hind, whichever!  So pep talks to self will commence. ("Haranguing" may be the more accurate word.)


- I need to make up menus - something I've been meaning to do for I have no idea how many years.   This way, instead of going through the whole thing of, "what do you want to eat," and "well, what do you have?" going back and forth for (literally) a couple of hours, we can make a list for the week from the "Irene" menu.  And, strangely enough, food, for the first time ever (other than in November) holds no appeal to me.  I derive no satisfaction from it.  However, I'm still always hungry, something that should have ended a couple of days ago.


- must teach hubby portion control.  (Losing battle!)


- need to take those vitamins religiously (Post coming up soon, I swear!)


- drink more water, especially before a meal. (It's just water, self, and I don't need to climb Mt. Everest to get it, for heaven's sake!)


- a weekly IV nutritional, similar to a Myer's cocktail.


-be more precise and consistent as to the hour I get my HGH shot, etc.


I was struck by the line from yesterday's post where the researcher found that with not enough sleep, no matter how much a "subject" ate, they were never satisfied.  Bingo!   My life in just a few words!  And THIS is precisely why I think sleep and food and their relationship to each other absolutely need more research.


There's not much money for the Big Pharma's regarding CFIDS/ME/fibro.  But there is a HECK of a market out there for insomnia and pain. (Just watch the commercials during the network 6 PM news shows!)


We just need to figure out how to make Big Pharma's realize these things and see the market for profit for these illnesses.  I think then we'll start seeing a huge and quick amount of info coming forth that would help us tremendously in the CFIDS/ME/fibro, insomnia, migraine world, as well as many other diseases or disorders.


What do YOU think?  Any other ideas for helping us put on our most gracious faces?   Because yesterday was not one of my more gracious days and that shames me.


At any rate, hope all are feeling the best they can be, only better!  Here's to a terrific weekend, however and wherever you spend it, with some mighty good sleep!

Trying To Be Productive As Well As Amused

Birchbox on the left and Beauty Bar on the right: love the earphones, the Jouer and the Sisley!

I know that signing up for beauty subscription services may be rather passé but even though others may be bored with them, I'm absolutely thrilled to have signed up for a couple.  Color me easily amused and quite bored - even desperate if you must - but I think that they're a bit of fun - perhaps because I need a life?  (I'll not take that bet - it's too easily lost!)  


At any rate, when I signed up for Birchbox and BeautyBar three months ago, I didn't realize that receiving four or five beauty samples twice a month (one from each company) would turn into something I would look forward to like a young, budding, in-training, teenaged prima donna at Christmas.  Yes, color me easily entertained too; however, I also recognize the fortuitous timing as I'm supposed to be on strict bed rest for the next month. (Yes, I still sound like a seal when I cough!)


I can see myself eventually becoming bored with the concept but for the moment they serve my purposes.  Both companies send out boxes that are somewhat tailored to one's tastes. They wanted my approximate age (good since that increases the chances of anti-aging products and decreases the teeny-bopper products I have no one to pass along to), they know I'm not especially into hair products (I've given up on experimentation with my hair as a lost cause, product-wise: I stick to a few must-have's and call it a day) and they're aware of a few other "facts" about me, such as I tend to like a conservative look and not cutting edge, though I must admit to a surprising fondness for the turquoise nail polish that came in the other day.


Thank goodness I have this bit of "fluff" in my life because whenever I go through a bad spell (understatement of the decade) I tend to go a bit off track with my entire life (is this a post for understatements or what???) and that all adds to my spiraling downward until I can finally say "enough!" and figure out some sort of mind game that will force me back on track.  This week I've tried quite a few things with no luck, so I'm putting it out there via this blog in order to shame myself back into "order."  Here is how I'm starting "back," if I can keep myself at the level I am right now and not get even a smidgen worse.   If I can get through five days of this, I'll have a good chance of succeeding:


1. Weigh myself each day and RECORD the number on my calendar. My 20-lb. weight gain is downright depressing but the worst is over, I hope, since I DID finally force myself onto the darn scale, a huge move.  And, BTW, I record my weight in code...I'm NOT crazy!


2. Cut out all sugar. That includes fruit and that honey I don't even like!


3. Go back to "food combining," or my version of it. I'm convinced that all of us do best on some foods and worse on others and it's up to us to see which work best for our individual selves.  That is, don't listen to the so-called experts - after all, they change their minds as often as Seattle changes its weather, about every ten minutes from what I've heard.  You know your body best, so listen to it and learn from it.  Food fads come and go why?  Because a certain percent of the population can be always be found to be successful with any kind of diet. (A topic for another day!)


4. Go back to taking my vitamins religiously. (More later on this too!)


5. Start back to what is over-the-top hygiene for me, a person with CFIDS/ME, fibromyalgia, pain, sleep problems and migraines, crazy temperature fluctuations several times a day accompanied by sweats.  For some reason this really helps, though paradoxically I have to be careful and not over-do it.  Overdoing anything at all can accelerate the pain and insomnia for heaven-knows-what reason(s).  So, it's all a rather bizarre balancing act.


6. Drink tons of water. Yes, it sounds so pathetic to say that I've been too weak to even drink enough water, but it's true nonetheless.  In fact, all these "goals" are so easily obtained for the "normal" person but feel like bucket list items for "us."


So, I'll let you know how things come along. I have GOT to get myself in gear.   Summer's almost over and I've accomplished almost nothing!  Worse, the remodeling has stalled because of my being too sick to have anyone in the house, which puts me into another downward spiral.  If we don't get our walls painted soon, I may have to go jump off the nearest cliff as I can't bare the thought of another holiday with scarred walls, little furniture and certain rooms filled to the rafters so yet other rooms can be worked on.


What a truly crazy life I lead: I haven't been to our local mall in at least five years but shopped at the Petronas Towers just a few weeks ago.  Surely there must be a happy medium!  (Huge goal: TJ Maxx and Michael's, which I've never even been to!)  Perhaps the subscription service is one easy possibility that will lead to more.  At this point I must keep in mind that thing I sooo hate to say to myself: baby steps.  Annoying?  You betcha! I was never a baby-step person, not even as a baby, but it'd be great if I could get myself to feel just a tad human again and start getting some feelings of accomplishment!


Here's to all feeling their best, only better!


Have you tried a subscription service and if so, what did/do you think of them?

My Hair and Beauty Outings...

Don't we all want to come home from the hair salon looking like we did in our 20's?

On Saturday, I will hopefully have an appointment for my hair with a few other goodies thrown in. I've now gone at the very least eight months since my last hair appointment and I'm looking especially pathetic and old, gray and dull, not to mention "holy," which will become clear in a moment. I'm always worried about the whole process because of three reasons.

First: This visit has me particularly uneasy because I've been so sick that we've lost count as to how many appointments have had to be cancelled at the last minute.  I feel like a second-class citizen when I walk in after so many cancelled appointments.... I just hate being so unreliable. Really hate it.

Secondly, I must admit that I do have a real love/hate relationship with going in for my beauty adventure.  I always say, with no sarcasm or exaggeration at all, that I'd rather have a root canal done than go in for a hair appointment.  You see, my hair is very fine and thin...and getting thinner every day, unlike my body (groan).  About 15 years ago, I finally found a miracle worker in Pittsburgh, an hour drive well worth the "health cost."  I'm trying to figure out how my talented and imaginative Diana will attempt the latest challenge - a four-inch bald spot that resulted from the incident I had with my arm/hand back in November. She was already working around two other bald spots but they were just babies compared to what I've got going now.  I've been using men's Rogaine foam (I know it says that it's not to be used for women but I did some research and it looked kosher for my needs) plus Phyto vitamins for hair, something that's helped me in the past.

However, I am arming myself with pictures of when I discovered that crater, six WEEKS AFTER coming home from the hospital.  Did no one think to mention that I had this huge white scalp showing in the back of my head? Did they honestly think that I wouldn't notice it eventually??? Plus, because of that tiny problem of my almost dying a few times during that hospital thing, my hair in general had started falling out.  Anyway, I'll have those pictures for the moment Diana sees that huge hole in the back of my head and mentally throws up her hands and finally admits defeat. Poor woman needs some hope that this latest bald spot at least has a chance of growing back in. Should be interesting.

But going in for my beauty adventure is always an experience I dislike/hate for many reasons despite the fact that the women (and men) who work there are wonderful.  I love them all.  They are kind, not noticing how ill I am without appearing callous, yet never condescending nor unconcerned, yet at the same time appearing not to notice my cane. Hard act to do well!  Of course, I don't know what goes on behind my back, but  I do love two women there especially, Diana, the aforementioned hair genius, and my newest discovery, Lan, who does a beautiful job of dying what I have left of my brows and lashes so that they can be seen.  I must admit, however, that I'm so looking forward to Lan noticing the bit of growth in my brows from the hair growth products I've been using as religiously as a person with severe CFIDS/ME/Fibro can, and will be crushed, I know, if she doesn't see a difference.

BTW:  Having discovered dying of lashes and brows has really made my life a WHOLE lot easier - it eases and lifts my "self" beyond explanation.  Hubby, who takes me there and then runs errands for me between checks as to how I'm doing, doesn't understand why all this makes me feel so much better.  However, he can SEE what it does for my spirit and thus loves the whole adventure - certainly more than I do - and actually gets excited about it all, despite my acting like a grinch the whole way there.  Did I mention that irritating hubby is also the sweetest, albeit delusional, hubby ever?

Back to Lan: at least after she's done with me I have an idea as to where to go to fill in those brows with brow powder and can find my lashes to put mascara on...otherwise all is invisible or non-existent.  And since my eyes are so dry, I can actually get away without the mascara if need be and not scare any children who may cross my path.

Finally, going to the beauty farm is not an easy deal:

First, I have to feel well enough to get out of bed, bathe, put on some makeup, see how awful my hair is and SORT of fix it and then find something (other than a nightgown) to wear which fits my ever-changing body. This is major league for me.  By the time all this is done, because of the sweating, trembling, shaking, almost-passing-out factor, you can imagine me employing the "up, rest; up, rest; up, rest" method forced on me by my cruddy body.  This takes at least two to three hours to get through.  Come on CFIDS'ers, CFS/ME'er's and Fibro's, admit how hard it is to start your life each day, but especially when going out of the house!  And though we all have many of the same problems, we all manage to have different problems also, and so in the end, it's never an easy task.

Furthermore, there's that funny little annoying problem I have with sleep - the BANE of my existence.  My life has no pattern nor any predictability or reliability at all because of the sleep factor.  I never know WHEN I'll fall asleep, IF I'll fall asleep at all, for how long WILL I sleep?  And if I do happen to fall asleep, will it be an hour before I have to get woken up for the "get ready to go routine"?  Am I going to be "sick" that day, as in I'm so sick that I can't stop falling or there are huge ulcers in my mouth or any number of conditions that keep me a hermit?  I absolutely hate it when hubby sees me in the morning and the truth hits me as I see a certain expression on his face: I will not be able to go under any circumstances, I'm just doing that badly that day...no adrenaline will help, no painkillers. After so many years, he, as well as my kids, can read the signs, among them the blue or no-color lips.

People always say to CFIDS'ers, "but you don't look sick!"  We absolutely, positively and indubitably cannot stand those words.  We're sensitive about people believing us, so we all too often feel those words undermine our illness.  Furthermore, it IS an insult because we know that we happen to look like something you stepped into by accident in a cow pasture. We look horrid despite the makeup...often worse than at home without makeup, because we usually look like a marathon runner does at the end of a 25K race - not only are we all sweaty and clammy, but our hair is absolutely wet, precisely because it IS the equivalent of a 25K run for "us."  For you non-jocks out there, imagine how you'd feel after a marathon.  At the finish line line you'd be breathing hard, sweating, legs feeling like jell-o, nauseated and so forth.  That's just a bit of how I feel before I reach the front door to go out.  Now that I think about it, perhaps it's a good thing that we have an hour drive to the salon: it gives my body a chance to rest before the fun really begins!

And finally, you've spent the week before doing absolutely nothing, trying to built up what I call "health credits."  If you don't put away those books lying around your room, you get x amount of health credits.  If you stay away from the garden, if you refrain from taking a bath, washing your hair or your face but so many times in the week before (never in the week before, if I'm being honest about it), you earn another unknown amount of health credits. You're constantly thinking about those darn health credits - or being reminded of them by a family member should you forget - in everything you do.  Normally, I rarely go downstairs to the kitchen, living room, etc., areas, but the week before a doctor's appointment or a beauty adventure, I absolutely NEVER go down there.  I need to save up those health credits.

I'm excited but scared....each and every time.

So, until Saturday, I'm living on tethers, hoping against hope that this week I WILL make it to my hair and beauty appointments.  I'm eating as healthy as I can, trying not to allow anything upset me (ha!), focusing on the positives (sorry, but another ha!), saving up as many health credits as I can and using any other of the other weapons in my arsenal of getting out of the house for the day.

Hopefully, the team can make me look Bea-U-ti-ful! ;)