Friday Tidbits: The Saga of my Thinning Hair Continues...

OK, add a few decades, shorten the bangs area and put in some highlights and you'd have what I look like now...yeah!  In my dreams!

Anyone who knows me knows that I'd literally prefer a root canal rather than get my hair done.  (Oh, how I wish I were joking!)  Thin, fine hair makes for a very scary prospect as I walk into a salon for color, highlights, low lights and cut.  Yes, I know that hair can grow out, but that isn't the situation with me.  I've gotten to the point where I actually have "hair envy" when I look at any person on TV.  How in the world DID I get such lousy hair genes?  

My last visit to get my hair done was truly a shocker. First, it had been nine months since my last hair appointment.  Can you imagine?  I mean, I could have had a baby in that period if I weren't so old!  My stylist/colorist works wonders on volumizing my hair, but this last time was the most difficult time ever.  My five bald spots are growing in for the most part, but let's admit it: my receding hair line is the pits.  When my colorist started putting in those "foils," she exclaimed, "what in the world happened?"  A couple of years ago, I lost about 1/3 of my hair.  It was finally growing in nicely thanks to Rogaine and my Phyto vitamins for hair. My stylist wanted to know what in the world had happened to me now, horrified.  She was literally shocked by what I had - or in my case what I didn't have - on my head.  Instead of my six strands of pathetic hair on my head, I now had three!  (OK, slight exaggeration, though not by much!)

But this time, I had at least half my hair volume missing.  When I looked at the little, pathetic bits of cut hair on the floor, it literally floored me (pun, anyone?).  My stylist cut the hair little by little so that the bald spots would be covered but not having my hair too long because of the problems of maintaining hair for a chronically ill person.  The result is always some variation of the "pixie," easy, peasy.


According to the Mayo Clinic's web site:

 "Thyroid problems. The thyroid gland helps regulate hormone levels in your body.  If the gland isn't working properly, hair loss may result..." 

And:

"Sudden loosening of hair. A physical or emotional shock can cause hair to loosen.  Handfuls of hair may come out when combing or washing or even after gentle tugging.  This type of hair loss usually causes overall hair thinning and not bald spots." 

Shedding?  Oh my heavens, yes.  Not only was my hair brush full of hair each day, but the bathtub full of hair after a bath was frightening.  It got to the point that the shedding was so bad that hair was even getting into my mouth.  Yum!   And yes, I have the characteristic of the last third of my brows not there any longer, not that they were ever too prominent to begin with.  PLUS, my bald spots were caused by bad falls, not hormone-related.

So, what are the reasons/factors which put me into this state?  If I were a betting woman, I'd say:

• My hypothyroidism (see link for symptoms)
• My lowered HGH level
• My lowered DHEA level
• The stress of my gall bladder surgery
• The physical stress of undiagnosed pneumonia - for a few MONTHS!
• The emotional stress about seemingly everything: worries about my kids being the biggest factor, perhaps. (I can always find something to worry about, but I'm working on refraining from worry.)
• Flying halfway around the world to Malaysia (though I wouldn't change anything about the trip!)

I could come up with a few other factors if I really thought about it.  The compartment surgery of a year and a half ago when I almost died didn't help - obviously?

It's been three weeks since the hair appointment.  At least I now look like I can go out in public without scaring little children and unsuspecting men.

I'm back (as of yesterday) to using Rogaine on my barely-there eyebrows and the receding hairline.  I'm also using SmartLash on my eyelashes.  Yep.  Those, too, are rather skimpy.  And I actually had a discussion with hubs about "brown soap," Octagon.  But that's for another post!

BTW: Anyone have opinions on Octagon soap used as shampoo?  I'm off to do my research!

As always, hoping everyone's feeling their best, only better!  Ciao and paka!



(NOTE: I must emphasize that you check with your doctor before using Rogaine.  Menoxidil was originally used to lower blood pressure, for example. Since so many of us have low BP's, that needs to be factored in.)

Brows & Lashes with a Few Helpful Tips

A few essentials for the CFIDS/ME/CFS and Fibro survival kit

It's now Monday and I've been through my roughest weeks continuing into the roughest weekend which I've had in quite some time.  That includes the dastardly emergency-gallbladder/gallstones-surgery-with-pneumonia-on-top-of-it-all episode.  But hallelujah, I did indeed make it to my hair stylist/colorist.  She's an amazing talent who can work miracles for those who are follicularly-impaired - thinning hair, bald in some spots and just all sorts of things happening that shouldn't happen to any woman!  But what can you do? (Get someone like my Diana!)

I'm beat, exhausted.  The color of my lips fluctuates between white and blue, I'm experiencing pain where I've never known pain could occur - now that's a comforting feeling since how many more places can there possibly be?  (Hmm...how and why DOES that keep happening?)  Enough describing?  Do halt those tears on my behalf.  I know: pathetic, pathetic, pathetic.

So enough complaining: on with the show!

My the brow and lashes lady did a magnificent job.  (Again: how DO they do it?)  I finally - and again - have two distinct brows I can follow, embellish, not even do nothing at all to them if I don't feel like it.  For me, at least, my brows don't need to get color as often as lashes, but if I ever get the energy to do so, I would love to go in for lash tinting and brows alone, frequently.  The lash tinting can last to about six weeks depending on how often you wash your face, exfoliate the face, which products you use and so forth.

By the by: while tinting eye lashes is quite commonplace in areas such as Asia, there is a bit of controversy surrounding tinting of lashes here in the States.  It took me a few years to get the nerve up to make that move to getting my lashes done.  I'd first seen it done in Australia, in the tropics where women do NOT want to put makeup on but  - well, know that they need it?   And a note: do NOT try this at home.  You REALLY do need a (great) professional doing this! 

What I also love about the tinting/dyeing of brows and lashes is that once the lashes have had a few treatments the eye lashes actually thicken because of the build up of color.   I find that it really lasts for about six weeks once you've given your lashes a good "foundation" and had them done every four weeks in the beginning then taper down to every 6-8 weeks once there's a little more "body" with the lashes.  Oh I do know how ridiculous this sounds.  But we aren't all blessed with thick brows and visible lashes so "blondies" need to do so much more work.  Furthermore, we who have CFIDS/ME/CFS and fibro can thank these illnesses for the hair sparsity, which becomes a monster of a problem if you happen to be lucky enough to also develop thyroid problems. 

In the end - FOR ME - tinting and dyeing is a time and energy saver in the long run.  At the moment my brows hairs are a nice brown.  But eventually brows hairs fall off and new hairs grow back in, though in white, while in other places the color wears off.  Too soon finding the "hairs" among the peach fuzz will again become another treasure hunt every time you choose to "fix" the face.

At any rate, I am crashing like never before.  Like I said earlier, this past weekend was a killer.  I rested, rested and rested and STILL ended up in worse shape than I've ever been.  

Therefore, my hair results will have to remain for another post.  I'm just too beat to go there.  (And I'm keeping posts on the shorter side, remember?)  I think that those of you with CFIDS/ME/CFS and/or fibro know how hard it is to post, especially when you're feeling worse than your "normal" self.  However we had some interesting observations/decisions to make: shave head or not and every permutation you can imagine.

OK, today I thought I'd add the following tips to make up for the lousy writing.  I know quite a few of you may know this already, especially because our Type A personalities dig for everything we can find.  However, just in case...

• Use a hand fan when you run a fever, like I do at night.  In the above picture you see one of the beautiful Malaysian fans my daughter-in-law gave me.  (Thank you, F!)  I used them all the time when the night sweats suddenly attack me with no warning.  Places like Pier One Import used to carry these sorts of fans and I've heard that if you're lucky you may run into them at some point.  If so, grab them!  They're great!
• Eye mask: the very basic eye mask at Drugstore dot com is absolutely fabulous.  It's not too tight, I doesn't have little areas where light can still sneak in. The fabric doesn't make me break out in yet more sweat.  I find that with the face mask I REALLY lose track of what day it is upon waking up.  6AM vs 6PM?   Easy to do.  You're in your own little world.  This isn't a sleep trick that works often, but enough times that I give it a try when desperate.
• iPod: I've downloaded a lot of music that I can "handle," not a very common occurrence for many reasons.  But when it works, it works!  See link on music and hypersensitivity to sound.
• Arnica: I don't understand why arnica has never really caught on here in the States since it's a "known" commodity in Canada, Great Britain and Australia. It's used for bruising and works incredibly well.  I happened upon it in a drugstore in Oz and couldn't believe how quickly a huge bruise on my son's toe, which had been there for a couple of YEARS, disappearEd, within a couple of weeks of using it.  Also, I bump into things a lot - or fall.  Consequently, I often find a bruise here and there.  Arnica, I've found, gets rid of the bruise VERY quickly.

As always, I hope everyone is feeling their very best, only better.  Ciao and paka!


(Note: I apologize for the mess this post was in before I fixed it.  It was "published" quite by accident.  The mess that happened between my brain being completely fried and my hand accidentally hitting "publish" is a saga in and of itself.  I have a feeling it'll go down on my "most embarrassing post list," which is indeed a feat.)

Friday Tidbits: Vanity

This week I decided that I would live one of my rheumy's "rules."  He recommends that if you're going to do something, you build up "health credits" for two days and then rest for two days after the event.  It's been tough but this week I've tried to follow the first part of his formula as much as possible: the taking-it easy-part.  OK, I cheated a bit by being on twitter more than is good for me, combined with writing a couple of posts that took quite a bit of work.  But for me, that's really being magnificently obedient.  I don't listen to orders well, if at all.  It's an inherited family trait, so I come by that honestly.  Yes, that's my story and I'm sticking to it!  (Somehow, I know my rheumy won't agree!)

And the reason for this sudden "listening" to ANYONE at all?  After all, we re-scheduled a much-needed doctor's appointment and a much-needed day of planned activity for the house.  What can possibly be worth that?

Why vanity, of course: pure and simple!

And here I am breaking one of my mom's cardinal rules: never tell anyone your plans before you actually do them.  Superstitious Russian/Ukie that I am, I still more or less can't get over that bit of "indoctrination."  So, before going any further, I'm saying "knock on wood" and throwing in a sort-of Russian/Ukie equivalent: "Tphoo! Tphoo! Tphoo! Just not to jinx myself."  

I'm finally getting sprung from the house for a day of "being a girl."  I've not had my hair done since before my son's wedding, and that makes it almost nine months.  Good heavens!  I could have had a baby by now were I anywhere near child-bearing years, which I most definitely am not.  I have discovered my real hair color and then proceeded to let the whole world see it in one of my pictures.  (Oh my!  How I've changed since starting this blog: is NOTHING sacred anymore?)

I debated long and hard as to whether I would go back to my regular hair stylist/colorist.  I started with her because she can work such magic on someone who has about six hairs on their head.  Finding it more and more difficult to make the long trek out to the "big city," I'd pretty much decided that I should start going local - especially after my last surgery.  However, considering how much trouble I've had with my hair for the past two years, I didn't think I should start in on anyone new at this point.  After all, I've had five bald spots in that time period, and I'd like to know the progress of those danged spots.  They were growing in, thanks to the Rogaine, but since my surgery in October, the Rogaine program has pretty much been shafted. (A pun!)  I have enough problems.  

To add to the (hair) complications, I've also developed hypothyroidism and my hair has been coming out, if not in clumps, still in disturbing amounts.  I've actually considered - and discussed with my hubs and daughter  - if shaving my hair wouldn't just be best at this point.  After all, I remember my mom telling me that when she was growing up, the girls in her area of the Ukraine periodically had their hair shaved so that it would grow out nice and thick, especially for luscious braids.  However, I don't see me wearing braids.  Thankfully, those days are behind me.  Further faulty reasoning on the part of my mom is that she never had the nerve to shave my hair when I was a child.  Furthermore, my daughter's hair is every bit as thick as my mom's.  They both have enough hair for any five women combined and hair people are completely drenched half-way through any work done on my daughter's hair.  And then just as I think I'll go on and shave that head of mine I remember that I don't have the best looking skull in the world AND that my BFF told me that it would itch.  So, it's back to the "big city" I go!

I'm also going in for the tinting of my eyelashes as well as getting my brows done: the waxing of the peach fuzz is imperative if you want to see the peach fuzz that actually constitutes what are considered to be my eyebrows.  Dying the little hairs that are there is needed to give me something to follow when I attempt to pretend I have brows with the magic of powder and pencils.  (For my desperation on this subject, the brows, you can go to part 1, part 2, part 3 and/or part 4: they're all pretty popular posts!)  At any rate, it's really quite pathetic but I DO try my best.

As for the jinxing part.  Oh, there's no end to what can go wrong.  The weatherman said that it's supposed to be nice on Saturday.  He's never right!  Worse, either my eyebrow/eyelash maestro could be out for some emergency (like last time) or my stylist/colorist can have her own emergency.  Or I could have my own emergency.  I'm sure that before Saturday, I'll have come up with a whole list of things that can go wrong!  

But I'm hanging in there and hoping it all goes well.  Nine months is a long time to go.  Any mother out there can tell you that. 

And there's the added pleasure: I absolutely despise going to get my hair done.  Give me a root canal any day...please!  I beg of you!  

In the meanwhile I hope everyone else has a wonderful weekend and feels their best, only better.  Ciao and paka! 

Dry Skin: The Tip of the Iceberg?

Desperate times call for desperate measures: using a hydrating mask yesterday before the dehydration numbers came in from my blood work.

Well, it seems that I've sort of lost yet another body part, or more accurately, the functionality of it.

Three weeks ago, in order to help out over-worked hubby, it was my daughter who took me to my monthly mandatory visit to my GP.  Well, THAT was a bit of a stunner.  My daughter, a teacher, put on that special ed teacher hat of hers, the one I don't normally see in full action, and in a very gentle manner, basically urged, prodded and forced me to explain all the concerns I've been experiencing since about spring, almost a year and a half ago by now.  Who knew she could be this person?

I've KNOWN that there is something new that is majorly wrong with me - and have, at times, complained about it loudly, other times not bothering to at all since I too often feel that no one is listening.  But what I do realize is that my daughter has a finely tuned antenna for the things that go on with me, amazingly so.  Anyway, this "major new hugely bad problem" happens every few years - with the time my body stopped producing Human Growth Hormone as one prime example.  So, blood tests were ordered (at my daughter's gentle but firm insistence to do it now in order to just get the ball rolling) and yesterday I got one set of results: I have developed hypothyroidism.  Furthermore, the other "bad numbers" that came in gel with hypothyroidism.

In talking to my doctor, he brought up a good question: how can I fix you if you can't tell me what it is?  Fibro-brain at its best on my part.  Good point on his.  However, since that visit I've amassed a list of at least 12 new strange things, things I'd mutter under my breath without realizing it ad hubby hearing it.  A few are explained by the hypothyroidism (more on that in a future post) 

This news is not surprising since the tricky part in the past year and a half has been that there are so many symptoms which overlap with CFIDS/ME and hypothyroidism, with a short account on that in days to come.  To demonstrate how tricky some of these diagnoses are, I thought I'd jot down a "few" of the symptoms (ha!) which I found on sites from the Mayo Clinic, WebMD and others:

• Coarse and thinning hair. (check: for thinning!)
• Dry skin. (check: to be discussed in a later post)
• Brittle nails.  (check: incredibly so)
• A yellowish tint to the skin. (check: comes and goes but so much lately that I've actually tried bleaching my palms!!!)
• Slow body movements. (check)
• Cold skin (check: but more later)
• Increased inability to tolerate cold. (hey: why don't I have that?  Oh yeah I do, I simply forgot how often I've been changing the thermostat each day lately)
• Memory problems (duh? And see above)
• Problems concentrating (check!)
• Feeling tired, sluggish, or weak. (Super, super, super check, aka "SSSC")
• Constipation  (no comment)

To continue, I also read that "other, less common symptoms" may include:

• Modest weight gain, unexplained weight gain 10 lb (4.5 kg) or less. (check: future post)
• Swelling of the arms, hands, legs, and feet (check: eye roll) 
• Peripheral neuropathy (check: it got better but recently moved to new areas)
• Facial puffiness, particularly around the eyes. (you have noooo idea how bad lately)
• Hoarseness. (ditto: almost never talk w/out hoarseness now)
• Muscle aches and cramps. (really?)
• Pale, dry skin (oy!)
• An elevated blood cholesterol level (ay!)
• Muscle aches, tenderness and stiffness (aha!)
• Pain, stiffness or swelling in your joints (hmmm...of course!)
• Muscle weakness (it's all in my head, right?)
• Food unappetizing, no taste (yes...I'm gonna cry!)
• Sadness or depression

I loved the depression part as I have that psychiatric wastebasket bugaboo, being a veteran of the DD war and thus scarred from the early years when my CFIDS/ME and fibro were unknown and later when NO one out there believed.  We are not only our "mother's daughters" - as I've so often said - but we are also products of our generation and my generation of CFIDS/ME and fibromyalgia was treated as shabbily as the suffragettes who had the audacity to want to vote and were all too often considered mentally ill for such outrageously blasphemous thinking.

I will start taking the thyroid medication and it'll take a month or two to kick in and we will see what happens. Hopefully, once the thyroid levels become normal, the cholesterol count of 355 will come down, the triglycerides, glucose levels will go to more normal levels and the latest puzzle of why my skin is so dry, with very little helping to remedy the situation, my eyes dry as well, to the point of being almost unbearably painful, will be answered.

You can bet that I will be coming back to this topic.  It's important to keep in mind that it's dangerous to keep blaming EVERYTHING on the DD.  Just because you have CFIDS/ME and fibromyalgia doesn't mean that you get a pass for other illnesses developing - even cancer.  In fact, because of our wacky immunological and neurological dysfunctional, compromised and impaired systems, I would venture to think that we are at an added risk for just about everything across the board.

I know that the hypothyroidism is not the answer to what I'm calling, "the big new seriously bad thing that is happening" problem.  But at least we have a good start!  (And yes, I realize that was yet another sentence fragment.)

At any rate, here's to everyone feeling the best they can be, only better!

Finally, a reminder that tomorrow is the drawing for the Skyn Iceland kit.  You know the spiel by now.  There's still time to join and enter. Just think: those who've signed up and left a post here have perhaps the biggest chance in the world of winning something EVER!   Again, it just staggers the mind!

Caio and paka!  (Hmmm....I think I like that Italian and Russian mix for "good bye" and "till next time.")

Rogaine: My Beauty Hero

My hair usually on the thin side, so its default setting was usually short.

For the last few weeks I've been experiencing the weirdest facial skin problems, ones I've never seen before.  Given that I'm constantly coming up with new strange symptoms (emphasis on "strange") it was difficult not to simply attribute the new problems to my CFIDS/ME and/or my fibromyalgia.  However, as I became more frustrated, it didn't sit well with me that something else was being blamed on the DD.

My face was becoming a bit rough, with a bit of bumps going on, not pimples, just bumpy.  Now I do have problems with pores and hyperpigmentation, but really, considering everything, my skin is not too badly off, especially in light of how little care it gets.  I thought it might be stress or any number of things, but nothing sat right.  Then a couple of days ago, my hand involuntarily came across a dry patch on an eyebrow.  What was going on?

Today I decided that despite how awful I've been feeling (oh my, I am sooo the master of the understatement) I needed to give myself a home DIY facial treatment, and a very serious one at that.  I decided to go through my *ahem* rather extensive collection of cleansers, exfoliants and treatment masks and line up my plan of attack in order to cut down on fibro-brain not being able to carry me through the process.  I'm talking serious business!  At any rate, Step One was taking a bath and that's when I suddenly realized the problem - finally!

Not too long ago, after getting my hair, lashes and brows done before my madcap adventure to Malaysia, the people at my "beauty palace" recommended a new shampoo/conditioner/serum system that was made for thinning hair. ("Thinning"?  I had five bald spots - yes, 5! - as described here).  I was told that women who lose their hair from chemotherapy love this particular product line because the success rate was even better than that of Rogaine's. This sounded tempting, despite my great success with Rogaine, because I would be eliminating a step, simply changing to a different shampoo and conditioner. They were out of the shampoo I needed, but had the conditioner and serum and to give the "beauty palace" wonderful credit, they didn't want to sell me a substitute for the missing shampoo, preferring that I buy the shampoo elsewhere, but get the right kind - for color-treated hair in addition to thinning - than get the wrong thing.

Well, I finally got around to ordering the shampoo a few weeks ago and loved it as well as the conditioner. Given how exhausted I was after taking a bath, I never had the energy to try the serum. I didn't even have the energy to use a couple of standard hair products either, ones I use religiously. I was delighted that my hair felt lovely - soft, no frizz problems, just the texture I really normally WISH for - despite the lack of added hair products and I was quite happy with the new shampoo and conditioner. I did feel that I needed to spend a bit more time and product washing my face because I really did not like the idea of all those hair-growth chemicals touching my face, but ignored that little voice nagging me. WHEN will I learn to actually listen to that voice: gut instincts are built into us for a reason, after all, no?

The new shampoo system was Nioxin #4, the kind for "noticeably thinning" hair. I'm not exactly blaming the shampoo as a lousy product, but it does give me pause: why would I want to expose my face to those chemicals, especially given that those with CFIDS/ME and fibromyalgia so often also have chemical sensitivities. If someone were to shampoo my hair the way one does in a salon where you sit back with your head against the sink, the shampoo never touching the face, it might be one thing, but in a bath - I'm not sure that's a good idea. A careful shower might be more successful, but I can't stand in a shower without collapsing, so that's pretty much out of the question.

But having said that, I must hasten to add that to make things worse, I've also had a terrible itching of my scalp problem, going nuts some nights. I had assumed (dangerous thing to do, I know!) that it had to do with my occasional bouts with head swelling, where the water builds up, and just yesterday upped my medication for this problem (as mentioned very briefly here). AND what's really gross is that after just two days of not washing my hair, my scalp was getting some sort of crud that would pop up under my nails as I madly went through scratching sessions. Misery? Oh my, yes, but "we" all know how many cruddy things we put up with and I just thought I was simply going through yet another yucky and gross CFIDS/ME/fibro symptom and annoying problem.

So, I think I'll be returning to the Rogaine treatment I was using before, as described in an earlier post. And I will also go back to the SmartLash for my brows (described here). The brows are starting to thin because I've just had no energy to keep up with them since my adventures - and after all that work! (Bangs head against the desk.) I think I'll wait for a while before I do anything with my lashes since I'm going through a bit of a problem with dry eyes, which started with itchy eyelashes: again, due to the new shampoo system? I have no idea if the eye problems are also connected with the Nioxin, but I'll be watching to see what happens in the next week or so.

So, there you have it: hopefully I now have the answer to this most annoying problem. One down and 8,997,999 to go, give or take a couple thousands.

And before *I* forget, a reminder that the clock is ticking for the Followers Giveaway and a chance to win the lovely Skyn Iceland kit. It's an incredibly great product line, almost a "cult" product line, and if UPS or the postal service can get to you, I'll gladly send it to the winner wherever she (or he) may be. Don't be shy...the odds are greatly in your favor and it's an incredibly easy and quick thing to do. Just go here for the easy-peasy rules and the place to leave your very quick comment. And if you subscribe to my blog and don't have CFIDS/ME nor fibromyalgia, please don't feel shy about entering the Giveaway: you actually almost deserve extra credit as you learn more about this illness and thus become our "goodwill ambassadors"!

At any rate, thanks for stopping by and until next time: I hope everyone is feeling the best they can be, only better!

The beginning of my "eyebrow" series, part 1

This picture has nothing to do with today's post: I just wanted to put it in because of yesterday's enjoyment of watching the festivities of the Queen's Diamond Jubilee and all the BBC specials.

To say that I have very sparse eyebrows is to be kind.  It's another result of this stupid, stupid illness.  In fact, I didn't know, for the longest time, that the reason my hair in general was thinning and falling out was caused by my CFIDS/ME.  Oh, this didn't happen all in one single day or even in a year.  It's been a decades-long process as this "imaginary illness" has silently been devastating my body (and my brain).


My quest for trying to "fix" my eyebrow problem has shown no bounds, it seems.  I've not taken an official count of the brow sets, pencils, shadows, gels and other paraphernalia I own, or other methods I've tried, in my quest to find an answer to this problem, but it HAS been a long road.


To give you an idea of how pathetic my brows are, here is a story for you.  I include it because I'm a strong believer in the school of "knowledge is power" and with this DD, we need all the power we can get!


Eons ago, I'd been going to a local person to get my hair done, and decided on one visit that I'd have my brows waxed, for the first time ever. The thinking (if indeed there WAS any real thought involved) was that with the peach fuzz gone, I could see just enough brow hairs to work with...that is, if I remembered to use a large mirror with a magnified side as well as lights.  Anything short of this was either an impossibility or, on the other side of the spectrum, the end result would show great promise if I ever decided to become a clown and go to clown school. Not surprisingly, my brows had become the longest part of my make-up routine - precisely because I most certainly did NOT want the clown school of brows.


Well, the person who was to do my waxing asked if I wanted to color my brows as well.  Did I?  Great idea, thought I!  However, there was a blip involved in this two-things-in-one-go method.  The "abuse" of my fragile skin, that is, coloring my brows as well as having them waxed at the same time, tore up the area and the result was burns.  


That night at dinner, my middle child, the one who notices the weirdest things, said, "MOM!  What happened to your face?"  Note, he said, "face"?  Said child was about eight years old at the time.  I started to explain that I'd decided to get my eyebrows done (trying to think quickly as to how to explain to an eight year old what "waxing" meant) when middle child might well have gotten whiplash from his head jerking around so fast from the double-take as he said, "you mean YOU have eyebrows?" and started to carefully check out my face with the same fascination he had when finding bugs in the woods or by a creek and tried training them to do tricks.  I might have gotten upset by such a statement but the innocent boy was just so genuinely surprised that I couldn't even feel hurt.


But what DID hurt was the unfortunate timing: I needed to renew my driver's license within the next week. The poor fellow taking the photos really tried his best to minimize the "wound look" which made it appear as if I were sporting two strange sets of brows.  NO makeup is good enough to cover that sort of facial mishap, and certainly not with the sort of camera that the State police used for those photos.  This was a MOST unfortunate driver's license, which I then had to carry for entirely too many years and caused MANY double-takes when, say, an innocent store clerk needed to see my ID when I wrote out a check.  I even got to the point where I'd warn people before they saw the picture, not wanting to be responsible for any more whiplash than absolutely necessary, but really, there was NO preparing for such a sight.  


So, brows have been a sore subject with me, especially in the last few years because as I get older, the brows get more sparse.  


As I said, this story shows just how much we need to be aware of what changes this DD can do to our bodies and is a cautionary tale which I've written about quite a bit in earlier posts: we need to be so careful with what we do to our skin, to our very selves.  Once this illness sinks it's teeth into us, we are no longer the person we were before. However, the bright spot is that knowledge is power and we need that knowledge and power in order to be armed to defeat the blasted enemy, and not allow it to break down our self-esteem nor our will to thrive!


The results of this eyebrow journey (sounds like so much fun, no?) will be revealed further along in what I'm calling my "eyebrows" series.  Given that we are living in the age of what I call the "eyebrow era," when brows are making brow people into almost celebrities, and wealthy ones at that (think of the fortune Anastasia has amassed!) and you'll see we're in the midst of a most unfortunate era for those of us with sparse brows.  I mean, it would have been so much easier on us if Mona Lisa's brows (or lack of them) were now in style.  Alas, such is not the case.  So, in my next post(s) I'll talk and give names of products that have helped me.  


Ta ta!  Till our next "talk." 

Laughing about the price of being a girl...

Happy feet in flip flops.

I hope that this is the last of any reports on my "beauty adventure" from last Saturday - for a while.  I'm crashing badly although yesterday I finally got a chance to check out my new washer and dryer - the one that's been in the house for almost two weeks!  It was absolute torture not to try out those machines with their bells and whistles, finally delivered to the house and not be able to do a single thing about it. Understand, I absolutely love doing laundry - one of my many quirks.

I also wanted to slip out of the house to take pictures of the tulips which continue to come up, as well as the dogwoods in full bloom.  Frustration.  Hubby did this for me but, bless his heart, he forgot the trees.  He also couldn't get the hang of cutting down MASSIVE amounts of lilacs for vases around the house, perhaps the one tradition I have every the spring, a total must.  The smell of those lilacs in the house always triggers some primitive part of my brain that says, "hallelujah! we're in for some wonderful gardens now!"

But one wild adventure a day (a load of laundry in case you've lost count) is almost too much and putting in a load of towels - well, since they were all whites, I figured I couldn't mess that load up too badly.  

As I've already established, I'm still crashing  - badly -  from Saturday's beauty adventure but the results were great.  First I want to say: it was FANTASTIC getting out of the house.  Not fantastic getting ready, but after that part was over, the rest was pretty darn good.

I loved going to my "beauty heaven" for my hair, mani/pedi, and having my eyelashes and eyebrows colored - the brows shaped as well, into the newest form which calls for a softer arch, and I am loving it.  Everyone did a great job and thanks to all that teamwork - emphasis on "team," which actually felt very much like a "village" - I'm starting to look like a girl again - OK, "woman," but understand that we females of a certain age still have a really hard time saying that word about ourselves with a straight face!

The "fixing me up" feels so incredibly renewing.  The hair is quite short (think "pixie"), my usual, with good highlights and lowlights.  Diana found FIVE more balding spots but was able work her genius.  Shaving my head (really!) is starting to sound better all the time.  I think I could carry off the turban look but my BFF said that a friend of her's was really miserable when her hair started growing out.  More misery I don't need.

But I'm so delighted that I now have eyebrows and ones you can actually see because of the coloring.  Lan, the eyelash/eyebrow superwoman, really was surprised that I have a few more hairs in the eyebrow area and this allowed the brows to pick up a lot more color than usual (go brow-hair growth enhancers!) thus deflecting the eye away from the age spots I love to fight.  I love that I no longer feel as if I have an arrow pointing at them for all to see.  Come on, I need a hobby and who says fighting age spots can't be fun?

I'm trying to organize the products I used - a lot, and I couldn't find some of my old "stand-bys - reorganization and decluttering badly needed!  Actually moving back to my bedroom and bathroom is what is badly needed.  Living with remodeling is the absolute pits and soon it'll have been a year on this latest phase alone.  

Anyhow, as I try to make sense out of my beauty products, my wardrobe, I keep getting flashbacks of an old movie from the early 60's, "The Flower Drum Song."  This is rather unusual because so many of us with CFIDS, CFS/ME, fibromyalgia, insomnia and migraines (etc.!) are so sensitive to sound and the energy that it induces is hard on our neurological systems, giving us an artificial "high" which we then pay for later, in SPADES!  Nonetheless, I keep wanting to burst out with one of my all-time favorite songs, "I Enjoy Being a Girl!"  

I saw the movie back in the old days when there'd be a double-feature and you'd usually walk in to that first showing, caring not one iota as to which part of the movie was going on - probably because no one seemed to keep track of time back when life was slower in the '50's and early '60's, most especially in the South.  You'd watch till the end of the first movie, then enjoy (hopefully) the second film, usually leaving when you reached the point where you'd walked in with that first feature - or when your parents wanted you back home again, whichever came first, I suppose.  

Well, not me with "Flower Drum Song." I watched it three times!  That's a whopping six plus movies in a row.  How did my backside handle it?  I guess it was being so young, a nine-year old.  

But even back then, though I was an unrepentant and proud tomboy - I actually earning myself the nickname "Jane" (as in Tarzan's wife), after one episode of beating and scaring the tar out of the four older boys who were attacking my younger brother.  EVERYONE called me a tomboy (as well as "bookworm' but that's for many later posts) which I rather liked.  It was an identity I carried proudly, despite the ballet lessons I took each week.  But I ALWAYS knew I loved being a girl.  The words, "with a pound and a half of cream upon my face" from the song "I Enjoy Being A Girl" fascinated me and drew me in.  After "The Flower Drum Song," I wondered about all those "girly" things for days and days...if not years and decades!

Oh my.  I just took a break and returned from YouTube. I discovered that there was a book, as well as Broadway and West End versions, of "The Flower Drum Song" and the movie's hit song, "I Enjoy Being a Girl."  I'm so incredibly happy that it's not been forgotten.  It would be like forgetting "the Sound of Music."  Actually, I can envision Maria singing, "I Enjoy Being A Girl" from that mountain top!  I think I've been won over by the latest version of the song with its peppiness and gusto.  I don't usually go in for peppiness but when I have to do "the girl" thing, as when going out for a doctor's appointment, this may start my blood flowing and, what little adrenaline my body can still produce, to start percolating.  It's certainly worth a try.  

So, hands and feet, check...a huge consideration since I can't do these little jobs since the accident with "the claw."  Of everything, I miss manicuring the most - how crazy is that?  Anyway, eyebrows and eyelashes check.  Hair cut, highlighted and low lighted within an inch of it's life, check.  New skincare products to try and to enjoy, check. (More on those at another time too!)

"I Enjoy Being a Girl" from "The Flower Drum Song," thanks to YouTube, check.  Here's the link. I hope you enjoy the gusto even if you don't happen to be a person who cares for perkiness.  But it does get the adrenaline flowing and reminds you why we "women" love and need these little extras in our lives, despite paying the the price men just don't understand! 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=URlW5NK2doA 

(If this link doesn't work, simply go to YouTube and put in "Flower Drum Song" as sung by Lea Salonga.  I think it's worth it!)

My Hair and Beauty Outings...

Don't we all want to come home from the hair salon looking like we did in our 20's?

On Saturday, I will hopefully have an appointment for my hair with a few other goodies thrown in. I've now gone at the very least eight months since my last hair appointment and I'm looking especially pathetic and old, gray and dull, not to mention "holy," which will become clear in a moment. I'm always worried about the whole process because of three reasons.

First: This visit has me particularly uneasy because I've been so sick that we've lost count as to how many appointments have had to be cancelled at the last minute.  I feel like a second-class citizen when I walk in after so many cancelled appointments.... I just hate being so unreliable. Really hate it.

Secondly, I must admit that I do have a real love/hate relationship with going in for my beauty adventure.  I always say, with no sarcasm or exaggeration at all, that I'd rather have a root canal done than go in for a hair appointment.  You see, my hair is very fine and thin...and getting thinner every day, unlike my body (groan).  About 15 years ago, I finally found a miracle worker in Pittsburgh, an hour drive well worth the "health cost."  I'm trying to figure out how my talented and imaginative Diana will attempt the latest challenge - a four-inch bald spot that resulted from the incident I had with my arm/hand back in November. She was already working around two other bald spots but they were just babies compared to what I've got going now.  I've been using men's Rogaine foam (I know it says that it's not to be used for women but I did some research and it looked kosher for my needs) plus Phyto vitamins for hair, something that's helped me in the past.

However, I am arming myself with pictures of when I discovered that crater, six WEEKS AFTER coming home from the hospital.  Did no one think to mention that I had this huge white scalp showing in the back of my head? Did they honestly think that I wouldn't notice it eventually??? Plus, because of that tiny problem of my almost dying a few times during that hospital thing, my hair in general had started falling out.  Anyway, I'll have those pictures for the moment Diana sees that huge hole in the back of my head and mentally throws up her hands and finally admits defeat. Poor woman needs some hope that this latest bald spot at least has a chance of growing back in. Should be interesting.

But going in for my beauty adventure is always an experience I dislike/hate for many reasons despite the fact that the women (and men) who work there are wonderful.  I love them all.  They are kind, not noticing how ill I am without appearing callous, yet never condescending nor unconcerned, yet at the same time appearing not to notice my cane. Hard act to do well!  Of course, I don't know what goes on behind my back, but  I do love two women there especially, Diana, the aforementioned hair genius, and my newest discovery, Lan, who does a beautiful job of dying what I have left of my brows and lashes so that they can be seen.  I must admit, however, that I'm so looking forward to Lan noticing the bit of growth in my brows from the hair growth products I've been using as religiously as a person with severe CFIDS/ME/Fibro can, and will be crushed, I know, if she doesn't see a difference.

BTW:  Having discovered dying of lashes and brows has really made my life a WHOLE lot easier - it eases and lifts my "self" beyond explanation.  Hubby, who takes me there and then runs errands for me between checks as to how I'm doing, doesn't understand why all this makes me feel so much better.  However, he can SEE what it does for my spirit and thus loves the whole adventure - certainly more than I do - and actually gets excited about it all, despite my acting like a grinch the whole way there.  Did I mention that irritating hubby is also the sweetest, albeit delusional, hubby ever?

Back to Lan: at least after she's done with me I have an idea as to where to go to fill in those brows with brow powder and can find my lashes to put mascara on...otherwise all is invisible or non-existent.  And since my eyes are so dry, I can actually get away without the mascara if need be and not scare any children who may cross my path.

Finally, going to the beauty farm is not an easy deal:

First, I have to feel well enough to get out of bed, bathe, put on some makeup, see how awful my hair is and SORT of fix it and then find something (other than a nightgown) to wear which fits my ever-changing body. This is major league for me.  By the time all this is done, because of the sweating, trembling, shaking, almost-passing-out factor, you can imagine me employing the "up, rest; up, rest; up, rest" method forced on me by my cruddy body.  This takes at least two to three hours to get through.  Come on CFIDS'ers, CFS/ME'er's and Fibro's, admit how hard it is to start your life each day, but especially when going out of the house!  And though we all have many of the same problems, we all manage to have different problems also, and so in the end, it's never an easy task.

Furthermore, there's that funny little annoying problem I have with sleep - the BANE of my existence.  My life has no pattern nor any predictability or reliability at all because of the sleep factor.  I never know WHEN I'll fall asleep, IF I'll fall asleep at all, for how long WILL I sleep?  And if I do happen to fall asleep, will it be an hour before I have to get woken up for the "get ready to go routine"?  Am I going to be "sick" that day, as in I'm so sick that I can't stop falling or there are huge ulcers in my mouth or any number of conditions that keep me a hermit?  I absolutely hate it when hubby sees me in the morning and the truth hits me as I see a certain expression on his face: I will not be able to go under any circumstances, I'm just doing that badly that day...no adrenaline will help, no painkillers. After so many years, he, as well as my kids, can read the signs, among them the blue or no-color lips.

People always say to CFIDS'ers, "but you don't look sick!"  We absolutely, positively and indubitably cannot stand those words.  We're sensitive about people believing us, so we all too often feel those words undermine our illness.  Furthermore, it IS an insult because we know that we happen to look like something you stepped into by accident in a cow pasture. We look horrid despite the makeup...often worse than at home without makeup, because we usually look like a marathon runner does at the end of a 25K race - not only are we all sweaty and clammy, but our hair is absolutely wet, precisely because it IS the equivalent of a 25K run for "us."  For you non-jocks out there, imagine how you'd feel after a marathon.  At the finish line line you'd be breathing hard, sweating, legs feeling like jell-o, nauseated and so forth.  That's just a bit of how I feel before I reach the front door to go out.  Now that I think about it, perhaps it's a good thing that we have an hour drive to the salon: it gives my body a chance to rest before the fun really begins!

And finally, you've spent the week before doing absolutely nothing, trying to built up what I call "health credits."  If you don't put away those books lying around your room, you get x amount of health credits.  If you stay away from the garden, if you refrain from taking a bath, washing your hair or your face but so many times in the week before (never in the week before, if I'm being honest about it), you earn another unknown amount of health credits. You're constantly thinking about those darn health credits - or being reminded of them by a family member should you forget - in everything you do.  Normally, I rarely go downstairs to the kitchen, living room, etc., areas, but the week before a doctor's appointment or a beauty adventure, I absolutely NEVER go down there.  I need to save up those health credits.

I'm excited but scared....each and every time.

So, until Saturday, I'm living on tethers, hoping against hope that this week I WILL make it to my hair and beauty appointments.  I'm eating as healthy as I can, trying not to allow anything upset me (ha!), focusing on the positives (sorry, but another ha!), saving up as many health credits as I can and using any other of the other weapons in my arsenal of getting out of the house for the day.

Hopefully, the team can make me look Bea-U-ti-ful! ;)