The Insomnia/Weight Monsters

What I've lately restrained myself from mentioning is my weight.  It' so very frustrating because about five years ago I took off approximately 50+ pounds and managed to keep it off.  Getting rid of some medications made it easier to lose the weight.

However, since my hospitalization, one huge contributing factor in my weight gain had been a result of changes in medication, out-of-wack hormones and stress.  How could this have happened?  Oh, but the strangest things happen to those who have CFIDS/CFS/ME and/or fibromyalgia, I think you'll agree. Part of the problem is that my sleep (or lack thereof) has put on the poundage to my bod.  I mean, let's get real: only three hours of sleep in 42 hours simply doesn't cut it.  

As I've written before, studies have shown that there are two critical hormones (leptin and ghrelin) which the medical community has come to understand, relatively recently, and that's the sleep/weight relationship - the how and why this happens.  Link over to the little purple bit and you'll get a bit of explanation of how these hormones have such powerful effects on us - and the impact when hormones are out of wack.  Have you doubts?  

"According to the Atlanta School of Sleep Medicine: "Leptin and ghrelin work in a kind of 'checks and balances' system to control feelings of hunger and fullness. Ghrelin, which is produced in the gastrointestinal tract, stimulates appetite, while leptin, produces fat cells, sends a signal to the brain when you are full." ~from this post. 

Remember then, when the teenager hormones which make a kid crazy, come into full speed ahead?  And we all laugh at how "hormonal " women become once they're pregnant, not to mention the postparnum blues.  With me - as is with many of you out there - things are further complicated by the CFIDS/fibro nightmare. I've got many hormones going against me and one example is: we're now seeing the mess my hypothyroidism alone has cost me.  Furthermore, take into account the mess in terms of other factors that contribute to weight loss and weight gain and you've got yourself a real puzzle.  Part of the problem is that my sleep (or lack thereof) has put on the poundage.

My medications have been changed quite a bit in the last six weeks and some are those that make you gain weight.  Do you see why I want to get off of those meds as quickly as possible?  Tapering is just taking way too long.  Soon I've be rivaling any overweight walrus. Gloom.  Despair!  (And agony on me... !)  For a laugh, check out the YouTube clip from HeeHaw.

The pain I experience - be it from body pain or in the form of migraines - has been almost out the wazoo and I'm realizing - yet again - that if pain is not under control you're going to add weight.  It has to be that some primitive part of us believes that eating is indeed the answer to all.  

I'd lived my very own version of the "Lamaze" principle as far back as I can remember.  I was thrilled to be able to learn this "distraction" method officially because finally I'd get real instruction as to surviving much pain.  I'd be able to endure much pain - which was only fair as I failed Lamaze with my three pregnancies and labors.  Yes, I learned from early childhood how to try to get your mind on anything but the pain.  Wherever I lived, I always had the cleanest floors which sparkled:  mindless work in which to get your brain as far away from the pain as can be.

And now I've worked myself  into an all-too-common vicious cycle: in order to avoid confronting the pain, we then end up overdoing it. 

• I've long wanted to do something on what we call "social media" and reading. In taking on the project in my little converted room with 1/4 of books in the house, a wonderful thing happened.  I found one of my notebooks in which I kept a list of each book I've read over a few years.  The notebook was tattered - but then so am I!
• Going through that notebook and seeing the book titles I was able to remember what was going on in my life at the time.  It was almost easier to go back in time with book titles than with aromatherapy essential oil (which have yet to reach my house).
• I've meant to start a reading list to this blog...
• Books are all over the house and getting to them, at the moment, is harder than qualifying for the Olympics.  Now that I've found this notebook, however, I've got many valid reasons if my book list doesn't pan out. 

Yesterday, I tried to ignore my pain by cleaning the little room which holds some of my books. (Yay! It's great that I found books I'd been looking for.)  But today I'm sweating like no tomorrow and running a fever, fighting a migraine and all sort of other goodies.  But it was so worth it.  Few things can compete with clean and nice-looking surroundings.

It's an absolute must that I return to my own version of  "eating healthy and well."  Through years (decades?) of experimenting, I've found a diet that works for me which not only takes off weight - instead the real bonus?  My migraines go away as long as I'm dedicated to that sort of eating. 

Goodbye, you nasty pounds - that's about 2.5 stone for our British cousins.  I hope you understand why in my case the extra weight must get lost!

And as always, I hope that everyone is doing their absolute best - only better.  Ciao and paka.


(Did you enjoy this post?  Please subscribe to my blog and you'll never miss anything!  It's easy: see the directions on the right hand corner of this page.  And BTW: I'll never sell, share or rent your contact information.  I don't even know where to find it, so it's an absolutely, definitely firm promise!) 

Friday Tidbits: A Chatty Weigh In

I'm sure all these Russians are rushing home to eat. 

We're now into Day #4 of the New Year and since it's time for Friday Tidbits, I have a few odds and ends I'd like to cover regarding weight. (As if my other posts aren't odds and ends already?) So, here we go! 

The focus is a bit of a progress report on a large front today, FOOD (Yay!) and WEIGHT (Boo!). Food is one of my favorite subjects - rivaled perhaps, only by beauty products (YAY!) But as you can see by this cartoon, I'm quite the disciplinarian. 

It was Erma Bombeck who said, "Never eat in excess of your body weight." Some days that sounds fair enough! Other days, not so much!

After gorging on everything and anything on New Year's Eve, after a wonderful meal which hubs made, (and I actually really mean it, not sarcastic for once) I was true to my word and started the year out "right" on New Year's DAY.  Note this was after I finally got to sleep, so technically, I was cheating by eating after midnight but we'll just let that slip by, OK?  I was actually in "hog" heaven as I "pigged" out: how do you like them apples/puns? 

My daughter and I made a radical decision.  In our town it's considered good luck to eat any sort of pork at all with sauerkraut on New Year's Day.  Yes, this pork and sauerkraut will evidently bring you good luck, prosperity, good health - to own Walmart and everything else you could possibly hope for.  (I'd take Saks or Nieman Marcus over Walmart if truth be told but hey, Walmart works for me as well.)

Well, that pork thing hasn't worked out too well for us, as any reader of this blog well knows! Duh!  Since we stopped our old "tradition" and took on the new one, we've had nothing but bad luck, so we decided to go back to our splurge for New Year' Day: beef tenderloin stuffed with lobster with a wine sauce.  Decadent, I know, but it kept everyone (but me) healthy for decades, thus saving us a small fortune in doctor and hospital bills. So, if I've not just  jinxed our family by admitting to this, I'm looking forward to a very successful year. Excuse me as I go "tphoo! tphoo! tphoo!" and as I also knock on wood.  Oh my, it's so weary to be a Russian/Ukie-American: we're such a superstitious lot!

Anyway, we pigged out, or rather *I* pigged out.  Hubs and daughter were having their fun with the tiny bit of champagne, as y'all have seen from the picture of them laughing hysterically (link).  No, not the first picture: silly people that's Colin Firth.  No, not the guy with all the hair, that's President Kennedy!  No, mine is the guy who's getting old, and I say "getting"?  Really?

Oh!  Here's a good one, the reason for the hysterical laughter.  I was trying to convince hubs and my daughter of the merits of Russian pop music - funny to them to begin with, for oh so many reasons.  First, I often get mad because they don't understand Russian.  I know: totally unreasonable for hubs and somewhat unreasonable for daughter.  But often I'll find an incredibly moving section of some lyrics.  The words themselves are beautiful for the sound and then those beautiful words come together synergistically with very nice music and suddenly you have poetry.  

As I was extolling the virtues of one singer, I read from Wiki's Russian site that this singer wanted to be an oceanographer but didn't get accepted to the program.  Then I read/translated to them that the singer's father was a veterinarian of reindeer.  Well, that was the last straw, with Santa jokes, reindeer jokes, Russian jokes galore.  Oh, they were on a roll.  (OK, maybe you needed to be there for that to be funny, plus have yourselves two sips of champagne.)

But to get back to food.  My plan of attack is always that before starting back on "a diet," I DO intentionally pig out beforehand.  My reasoning goes like this: if I eat enough of the forbidden foods, I won't miss them so much once I stop eating these foods.  However, there is a major flaw in this sort of thinking. This doesn't always work out well in the sense that can you imagine how much weight I put on getting ready for a diet that I can't start!  ENORMOUS?  Yeah, enormous body and an ENORMOUS amount of food!  

So what did I binge on?  I thought I'd paraphrase what I wrote on the AMR site when Ruth asked what things we stuffed ourselves with and my response was basically:

...lots of foods that perhaps sounds strange and a bit gross to the West, like Kutya (wheat berries with honey, poppy seeds, nuts, raisins, etc.) made only for Christmas Eve, and a couple of other occasions, with "Vinegret," (a delicious Russian beet/potato salad with a bit of sauerkraut, pickle, onions, carrot, and so forth), herring, "Olivier Salad" (another type of Russian potato salad, synonymous with New Year's Eve: songs are even written about it; we Russians DO love our food), New York cheesecake, lobster with beef tenderloin, shall I go on?  I won't say how many helpings of everything I had. I had better stay virtuous as the belly (and other parts) are doing the Jell-O jig and it would be embarrassing if anyone asked me if I were preggers (I am, let's just say, over 45 - hahahaha, she laughs!). OK. This probably DOES qualify for gross and strange: pickles (from salads) w/ cheesecake. Come to think of it, I did this once while preggers, at a deli across from Lincoln Center in NYC, and grossed out my company. What's wrong with good kosher dill pickles and cheesecake? OH!  And all this was eaten between 10PM and just after midnight....

 Here are some of those bullet points: 

• I've already written about my belief that the first three days of any habit, including or especially dieting, are the hardest and the most dangerous time.  It's so easy for the diet to "not take."  
• It's so hard to stop thinking about food.  
• It's so easy to give into convenience food.  
• I'm into and just past day #3 (yay!) and have been successful in getting back to healthy eating. 
• No sugar, no carbs.  
• I'm hugely into food combining.  

Now one of the reasons I've been on twitter so much lately is because I'm still on my migraine streak and thought that being at the computer would serve two purposes:

• keep me from noticing my migraines too badly, using the old Lamaze theory that to be distracted helps the pain
• sitting in front of the computer will keep me from eating too much.  

My feet may be swollen and my belly has probably increased by about seven inches in the last month or so and it may hurt from the gallbladder surgery, but at least I'm successful thus far in my eating.  

I also have been motivated by the fact that I see my endocrinologist on Wednesday and he may actually want to weigh me - and I don't think I have it in me to stare down his nurse and refuse to be weighed.  My GP's office is used to me.  I tell them my honest weight from home that morning and they write that down.  I'm not sure the endocrinologist will allow himself to be "swayed" by me.  I just have this... PHOBIA about anyone seeing me on the scales or even knowing the number.

Which dovetails into this second point of the day.  I'll be seeing the endocrinologist on Wednesday.  As I already said, I've tried to make up questions for him, as well as writing down a few (hahaha, "few": no one would believe that of me, and rightfully so!) bullet points of the rather long list of out-of-the-ordinary (for me) symptoms and which I can't take any longer.  

• Our family doesn't do nausea and I'm ill-equipped for it.  So, nausea will be addressed as well as the fact that  I'm ravenously starving to death (when it comes to food, I'm a certified foodoholic).  
• And everything tastes terrible, which makes me want to search for the food that will satisfy and I end up eating hubs and myself out of house and home.  THEN I send hubs to the grocery store to start on that as well. 

Hubs says he can't understand the nausea and eating at the same time.  I tell him that he's obviously not a woman.  End of discussion.  Period.

But I'll be in danger on Wednesday.  Whenever I need to leave my bed, it takes so much out of me that I'm super-ravenous and can't stop eating.  My body must use up enormous numbers of calories in any get-readiness and then the outing itself is so tiresome and overwhelming that it just makes my body go wacko.  Then I'm craving carbs like mad, those Slavic genes screaming out for good bread and any kind of potato at all, the more kinds the merrier.  

So, to get back to the endocrinologist, if anyone has any good questions I should ask him, or discuss with him, please let me know.  This is really a field I know very little about.  I know that many with CFIDS, etc. and fibro have thyroid troubles.  Much of the thyroid problem is contributed by stress (as if that's a novel theory!).  So, suggestions away!

In the meantime, I hope everyone's doing their best, only better.  Take care of yourselves in this sudden freezing weather that's finally come our way if you live in a temperate climate.  It's good to be getting rid of the bacteria and viruses that fester if we don't get good cold freezes occasionally, but the price paid is that the sudden temperature changes wreak havoc on our bodies as we await the spring.  So, do take care.  Ciao and paka!

Soon, I hope, soon, soon, soon!

A Weighty Problem

I can't believe that I've never written about a "truism" which refers to me in regards to my ongoing battle with CFIDS/ME/CFS and/or fibromyalgia. It has to do with my weight and how I feel from a health point of view. I've written before that I like to weigh less because I feel better without too much extra poundage.  Yes, this seems like a very basic truth and hardly worth a mention.  However, there is another aspect to this weight issue.

About twenty years ago, I realized that others in the family could tell how I'm doing not just by my white or blue lips on any particular day, or by the changing of my eye color - that they're green when I'm feeling well, but become blue when I'm really sick or in a cruddy mood, the mood usually having a direct correlation with how sick I feel.  Talk about a vicious cycle!  There's an even easier way, an extremely fast way, to tell anyone about "the phase" I'm in: the sicker I feel overall, the heavier I am; the better I feel, overall, the lower the overall number on the scales.  It is such an odd thing, when you understand that it has little or almost nothing to do with trying to lose weight through great willpower or any other means.  It has to do with the following:

1. When I feel sicker, for some reason I think food will cure all ills.  Two symptoms I have a really hard time dealing with are nausea and sore throats.  Give me insomnia, give me pain out the wazoo, migraines which need hospitalization, just about anything, but please do NOT give me a sore throat or nausea.  When these two symptoms appear, almost all bets are off.  Hubs can't believe that I would want to eat while nauseated, but somehow I always think that I'll find the absolutely right food that will magically cure me. Consequently, I'll eat a seemingly hundred different things which are, of course, of no help at all.  Yet somehow the message in my brain gets garbled and eat I do, to no end.  Nausea I find to be a bit easier to deal with because there are some anti-nausea medications that help, plus crackers and ginger ale will also alleviate nausea to some degree. But on the whole, I try every food and any food, thinking I'll hit the magic "thing," and nothing happens other than gaining more weight. (And I'll bet I'm not the only female with this crazy way of coping!)
2. I've already spoken about the sleep and weight gain connection in terms of hormones. (See link.)  No matter how much I try to eat as little as possible, the weight gain is there despite EVERYTHING if I don't get enough sleep.  Somehow, I think it's doubly unfair to have this problem, but there you have it. Besides, how fair is anything with this illness?
3. The better I feel, the fewer medicines I need to carry me through.  Oh there are and most likely will always be certain meds that I'll need, but there are a few that I can cut back on or even perhaps cut out altogether in better stages of my illness. However, there are some that cause me to gain weight and those I'm always game to cut back on in my finer periods.
4. Now this last observation is one aspect of my severe insomnia which I've hesitated to touch upon because I don't want to set a bad example.  However, in the spirit of being truthful and that knowledge is power (i.e., don't do this!).... If I'm in one of my worst-of insomnia stages and my entire being is falling apart, finding myself only one or two step away from hospitalization, I try to go into a "sugar coma," so to speak.  If I'm extremely ill, or on a "worse than ever patch," I will try to interfere or break it by eating a whole lot of chocolate bars.  (Note: I try to eat very little sugar in any form because this is one food which makes me sicker than I need to be.)  The first time I tried this chocolate approach was as I was admitted to the hospital with a migraine so bad that I needed a CT scan and an MRI.  I have no idea why I asked hubs to get me five chocolate bars from the vending machine - and knowing me, he understood that I MEANT ten bars.  (We call it the "Mr. Goodbar" phenomenon; though we've long ago forgotten exactly how this phenomenon, this asking for less of any food than what I really mean, got this name other than it was a reference to a novel which I happened to be reading at the time.)  Urrr, yes, back to subject at hand!

About seven candy bars later, I blissfully fell asleep for about 24 hours and when I woke up in that same hospital it was minus my migraine.

However, a huge caution:

• this is a very dangerous path to take because of the impact of so much sugar on the the pancreas,
• it just doesn't work if I try this too often. My body builds up a tolerance towards too much sugar and
• imagine the weight issue; despite the fact that desperate times call for desperate measures, etc., I find it difficult to get back to eating no sugar.

Another caution: like many with invisible illnesses, I really hate it when people see me and say, "you look great because you've lost so much weight!"  They truly believe that I'm naturally cured at best, or that I've come to realize that everything I feel is exaggerated or "all in my head."  How do I know this?  Well, it doesn't take a rocket scientist to understand these sorts of things when they are said to your face!  I'm actually feeling cruddy but it's all a matter of relativity.  I want to say, "bite me!"  However, I do realize that that's rather rude.  

Furthermore, how do you explain that despite the number on the scales, you're still too sick to do anything but be in bed and wander out of the house only about once every month or so - and then only because you need to see your doctor - with no one seeing the consequences of those hours of being out and about?  Ah yes, the joys of "invisible illnesses."  I yearn to yell, do you honestly think that I choose this weight, because no matter the number, I'm still overweight, be it because of meds, having to do too much, or the phase of earth aligning with planets.  (That last part is a feeble attempt at humor.)

How do YOU feel about this observation?  Does any of it hold true for you?

At any rate, as usual, I hope everyone's feeling their very best, only better.  Ciao and paka.

Losing Weight: Part 2, The Tips

A Macy's Christmas in NYC

Yesterday I wrote about some of the reasons why we with CFIDS/ME/CFS and fibromyalgia tend to put on too much weight.  Today I'm finishing this mini-series with a few of the ways I go about trying to fight the good fight, the one with the scales.

Once I can get my head into being serious about losing weight, I often put up signs around the areas of the house I'm found in that remind me that I'm trying to get back to "good eating.  (Fibro-brain here has the memory abilities of a gnat!)  The reasons are often written down on post-its, one reason or saying per each post-it.  Then if I'm really desperate, I even put all the reasons for losing weight on a larger piece of paper with as many reasons for losing weight as I can come up with.  I think my record list was once about six sheets long, each taped at the bottom of one sheet of paper to the top of the next sheet of paper, with about 70 reasons one year! (HONESTLY!)  I taped it to the back of my closet door so that hubs couldn't see them: no reason for him to see how truly nutty his wife is.  Who says I don't lead an exciting life?

I tell myself all sorts of corny sayings and often make up the wildest reasons if I think they will inspire.  Oh this is really, really embarrassing!  But since it's for the good of all, I'm willing to go there!

• "A journey of a thousand miles starts with a single step."  This I actually had in a frame next to my bed for a few years during a particularly bad period and it helped me with not just the weight issue but with many things I was trying to juggle in my life at the time.
• Knowing that it takes me only three days to really get solidly on my way goes a long way to getting me into the right frame of mind.  I understand and accept that Christmas will be a hang-up, a snag, but I give myself a pass and tell myself that a lot can be accomplished between now and Christmas and that I don't need to keep eating all the wrong foods each day during the "insanity" of the holidays.
• I make sure that I am off all sugar: this happens to be my personal downfall, be it with fruit, honey or the really bad kind, the white stuff.  I feel so much worse when I allow sugar of any kind but it's just so easy to fall into the sugar habit, especially around holidays and birthdays.  Normally, no sugar at all for me and that helps with the cravings and out-of-control appetite I experience all too often.
• I've seen for fifteen years that my body is not satisfied without animal protein and it also needs fats.  Without these, I will eat and eat until my body finally gets what it is lacking.  What a waste of calories before I finally hit what I should have eaten in the first place!  I personally feel that it's best to just accept what your body needs and deal with it that way.  So, for fats, often just a small piece of Brie without crackers is just the thing for me.  
• Once I get rid of a few pounds I make sure I weigh myself each day and write down the weight in my calendar (in code so no one knows the real numbers but me!).  I have trained myself not to get upset if the weight goes up and if I know that the previous day I'd eaten only "good foods" because I do have a huge bloating problem, no matter what my "diet."  (When I write "diet," I mean "way of eating" and not necessarily losing weight.  The right way of eating for me will lead to losing weight the safe and healthy way.)  
• Know what your body fluctuations are and don't allow them to sabotage.  Before I recognized "the bloating factor" that alone could make me think the effort isn't worth it and I'd go grab some horrible food and, all too often, start to "binge."  If you can identify how your body works weight-wise and make allowances, this can be a huge ally in the fight against extra poundage.
• A weight recording trick: sometimes I don't record the weight every day.  If I'm at the same weight as the day before or (heaven forbid) weigh more than the previous day, I don't add the weight to the record and just add the weight in when there has been a shift downward.  Goofy, I know, but it works for me!  
• Drink water if you're hungry.  Often our brains interpret hunger when we're simply dehydrated.  (And we all know how dehydrated those of us with CFIDS/ME/CFS and fibro can get!  Other illnesses also have dehydration problems, including hypothyroidism.)
• Eat a soup instead of a stew.  It fills you up faster and adds liquid to the whole dehydration problems.
• If I can handle it, I try to brush my teeth after I eat.  This gets all the taste of the food I ate out of my mouth and for some reason I find that once my mouth is completely fresh, it often stops me craving anything.  (Or perhaps it's the thought that I'll have to brush my teeth again that stops me from eating more: who knows why our kooky brains work the way they do?)

I hope this helps us all get through the holidays and delivers us to the New Year in better shape than we ever expected: THEN with the new year we can work on getting real progress going.  But we'll be psychologically ready and that is more than half the battle if there are no other medical conditions going on. 

Do you have any weight loss tips that can work for those of us who can't exercise and who have to deal with trying to lose weight while taking medications that have a tendency to put weight on?  Let us know.  We could all use any (healthy) advice out there!

As always, I hope everyone's feeling their best, only better!  Ciao and paka! 


(Did you enjoy this post?  Please subscribe to my blog and you'll never miss anything!  It's easy: see the directions on the right hand corner of this page.  And BTW: I'll never sell, share or rent your contact information.  I don't even know where to find it, so it's a firm promise!) 

Losing Weight: Part 1, The Reasons

Thanksgiving at a friend's home: you'd think my kids had lived an "Oliver" life!

There seem to be dozens of ways to gain weight if you're a person who suffers from CFIDS/ME/CFS and/or fibromyalgia and I do believe that I've had the dubious honor of having gained for each one of the reasons at one time or another.  It's a real problem because, let's face it, the way we look DOES affect the way we feel about ourselves.  No matter how much we tell ourselves that all we want in life is to be healthy, there IS the little part that we quietly add, "and to be a normal weight."  It's not surprising because before we became sick, we usually WERE at a decent weight.  

Today I'll just pick out four reasons why we often gain weight.  Some I've gone into before, but others are new to this blog.  Tomorrow I'll post a few tips that have helped me with the ways I try to lose weight, an ever-increasing list.  But today, some of the "causes."  Remember: knowledge (or acknowledgement) is power!

• Insomnia.  If you don't get enough sleep, your hormones go all out of wack and you start to gain weight like crazy.  For more on this, see the post I wrote about this here.
• Medication.  Despite huge vigilance, a few years ago I was on entirely too many medications (around 50!) and we were able to cut the number down, as well as the dosages.  It was hard work and sometimes I think I would do well to go back to a few but when I think this, I also think, "at what price?"  I do have a couple that I may need to start back on but will be talking to my GP about this because I'm not sure of the benefits vs. happiness factor with my weight.  "Proper weight" is not just about looking good - were it only that easy.  It also gives us a bit (ha!) of a self-esteem problem that, like it or not, does accompany the weight issue.  And let's face it, it's hard to lug around extra poundage. 
• Overdoing it.  Every single time that I overdo it - and it doesn't take much to get into that state - my appetite soars and the poundage comes on in spades.  Just sitting downstairs in the kitchen as preparations went on around me on Thanksgiving and then sitting at the table for dinner was way more than my body could realistically handle.  I've not weighed myself since this out-of-control eating started and as a result, I know I've gained at least 10 pounds, if not more.  I've more or less given up until tomorrow since it's hubby's birthday today and I knew that stopping the eating and then "starting again" with his birthday again would just be too much.  So, tomorrow I start to give myself the pep talks and maybe by Wednesday I can start those first three days that are so hard to get through as you're trying to get back to "eating right."  See this post for more on the "eating right" and losing weight the healthy way right here.
• Stress.  We had the painters in the house for two weeks and then there was all that running to the ER and testing and that all proved to be too stressful, which led me to overeating - a real understatement.  Now I have not only the holiday weight to deal with, but all the stress-induced weight gain of something I had a lot of trouble dealing with.  It had to be done.  Now the weight has to be dealt with.  End of excuses or lamenting from and for me!  Get with the program, self! (Unfortunately the work is not completed yet.  I'll have to come up with some sort of way to deal with this better!)

And yes!  Make sure you check with your doctor to see if there is something new going on with your body that is causing the weight gain or lack of weight loss. You may need to explore the possibility that you've developed a new issue that needs to be addressed (like me when my weight went super wacko and it was because of the hypothyroidism) or if there is a medication which you might no longer need or can take in a lesser dosage.  

Weight is the bane of most women, especially in the States.  If you've had the misfortune to add medical conditions, things get that much harder.  Some medications I know make it harder for me with the weight but my doctors and I feel that I have no choice but to continue on those medications.  I try to work around the meds, but that's not easy.  Remember that foremost is your health.  THEN establish the weight which you are comfortable to live with, but be realistic about the number.  

Finally, remember that body image is not always right: we are often our worst enemies and think we look much worse than we actually do.  

And that's it for today.  I hope everyone's feeling their best, only better.  Ciao and paka!

Dry Skin: The Tip of the Iceberg?

Desperate times call for desperate measures: using a hydrating mask yesterday before the dehydration numbers came in from my blood work.

Well, it seems that I've sort of lost yet another body part, or more accurately, the functionality of it.

Three weeks ago, in order to help out over-worked hubby, it was my daughter who took me to my monthly mandatory visit to my GP.  Well, THAT was a bit of a stunner.  My daughter, a teacher, put on that special ed teacher hat of hers, the one I don't normally see in full action, and in a very gentle manner, basically urged, prodded and forced me to explain all the concerns I've been experiencing since about spring, almost a year and a half ago by now.  Who knew she could be this person?

I've KNOWN that there is something new that is majorly wrong with me - and have, at times, complained about it loudly, other times not bothering to at all since I too often feel that no one is listening.  But what I do realize is that my daughter has a finely tuned antenna for the things that go on with me, amazingly so.  Anyway, this "major new hugely bad problem" happens every few years - with the time my body stopped producing Human Growth Hormone as one prime example.  So, blood tests were ordered (at my daughter's gentle but firm insistence to do it now in order to just get the ball rolling) and yesterday I got one set of results: I have developed hypothyroidism.  Furthermore, the other "bad numbers" that came in gel with hypothyroidism.

In talking to my doctor, he brought up a good question: how can I fix you if you can't tell me what it is?  Fibro-brain at its best on my part.  Good point on his.  However, since that visit I've amassed a list of at least 12 new strange things, things I'd mutter under my breath without realizing it ad hubby hearing it.  A few are explained by the hypothyroidism (more on that in a future post) 

This news is not surprising since the tricky part in the past year and a half has been that there are so many symptoms which overlap with CFIDS/ME and hypothyroidism, with a short account on that in days to come.  To demonstrate how tricky some of these diagnoses are, I thought I'd jot down a "few" of the symptoms (ha!) which I found on sites from the Mayo Clinic, WebMD and others:

• Coarse and thinning hair. (check: for thinning!)
• Dry skin. (check: to be discussed in a later post)
• Brittle nails.  (check: incredibly so)
• A yellowish tint to the skin. (check: comes and goes but so much lately that I've actually tried bleaching my palms!!!)
• Slow body movements. (check)
• Cold skin (check: but more later)
• Increased inability to tolerate cold. (hey: why don't I have that?  Oh yeah I do, I simply forgot how often I've been changing the thermostat each day lately)
• Memory problems (duh? And see above)
• Problems concentrating (check!)
• Feeling tired, sluggish, or weak. (Super, super, super check, aka "SSSC")
• Constipation  (no comment)

To continue, I also read that "other, less common symptoms" may include:

• Modest weight gain, unexplained weight gain 10 lb (4.5 kg) or less. (check: future post)
• Swelling of the arms, hands, legs, and feet (check: eye roll) 
• Peripheral neuropathy (check: it got better but recently moved to new areas)
• Facial puffiness, particularly around the eyes. (you have noooo idea how bad lately)
• Hoarseness. (ditto: almost never talk w/out hoarseness now)
• Muscle aches and cramps. (really?)
• Pale, dry skin (oy!)
• An elevated blood cholesterol level (ay!)
• Muscle aches, tenderness and stiffness (aha!)
• Pain, stiffness or swelling in your joints (hmmm...of course!)
• Muscle weakness (it's all in my head, right?)
• Food unappetizing, no taste (yes...I'm gonna cry!)
• Sadness or depression

I loved the depression part as I have that psychiatric wastebasket bugaboo, being a veteran of the DD war and thus scarred from the early years when my CFIDS/ME and fibro were unknown and later when NO one out there believed.  We are not only our "mother's daughters" - as I've so often said - but we are also products of our generation and my generation of CFIDS/ME and fibromyalgia was treated as shabbily as the suffragettes who had the audacity to want to vote and were all too often considered mentally ill for such outrageously blasphemous thinking.

I will start taking the thyroid medication and it'll take a month or two to kick in and we will see what happens. Hopefully, once the thyroid levels become normal, the cholesterol count of 355 will come down, the triglycerides, glucose levels will go to more normal levels and the latest puzzle of why my skin is so dry, with very little helping to remedy the situation, my eyes dry as well, to the point of being almost unbearably painful, will be answered.

You can bet that I will be coming back to this topic.  It's important to keep in mind that it's dangerous to keep blaming EVERYTHING on the DD.  Just because you have CFIDS/ME and fibromyalgia doesn't mean that you get a pass for other illnesses developing - even cancer.  In fact, because of our wacky immunological and neurological dysfunctional, compromised and impaired systems, I would venture to think that we are at an added risk for just about everything across the board.

I know that the hypothyroidism is not the answer to what I'm calling, "the big new seriously bad thing that is happening" problem.  But at least we have a good start!  (And yes, I realize that was yet another sentence fragment.)

At any rate, here's to everyone feeling the best they can be, only better!

Finally, a reminder that tomorrow is the drawing for the Skyn Iceland kit.  You know the spiel by now.  There's still time to join and enter. Just think: those who've signed up and left a post here have perhaps the biggest chance in the world of winning something EVER!   Again, it just staggers the mind!

Caio and paka!  (Hmmm....I think I like that Italian and Russian mix for "good bye" and "till next time.")

Confession's Good For The Soul?

                 This child will hopefully never have a weight problem: he keeps farmer's hours!


I must confess.  Yesterday I "sinned" and I can't handle holding that secret.  It is making me go bonkers to have allowed anyone at all hear me declaring the definite steps I'll be taking in my conquering, to my best, my CFIDS/ME/fibro/migraines/sleep disorders, etc., to arrive at a bit of a true-blue "not looking too shabby for her age" for my upcoming birthday in October and me not doing it.  As I'm sure half the world knows by now (delusions of grandeur?), I went into a Herxheimer-like reaction after KL.  Things were catching up with me from the compartment syndrome surgeries, not to mention two years of living on the edge with my daughter's sudden illness which stopped our entire family's lives cold as we rallied and fought to keep her going.  And these are just the high points.


We're into year 3 of remodeling (walls going up or down, the house being totally reconfigured), though I see I won't be getting my dream kitchen, even modified, any time soon.  This is a huge set-back because I had remodeled it on paper where I could do a bit of bossing around as I lounged in a semi-family room (thus getting me out of bed!) looking out on a lovely garden (perhaps even going out for a bit now and then) and in the other direction, instructing whomever on cooking and baking.   To me, the kitchen is sacred because it's truly the heart of the home. (Cliché but true!)


But really and truly, I definitely do think that there's something new, majorly wrong with me, that which started affecting me back in November, which, in its own way, started me into a downward spiral.  I'm not being very helpful to my doctors as I don't know how to explain this new malignant feeling, whatever it may be, and really, where does one begin?  But blood work has been ordered as everyone scratches their heads and I can't be more useful in my description, seemingly having run out of all descriptions and besides, working hard on just hanging in there.  Think about it: good thing I was a English lit major - how else could I have supplied so many descriptions over the years?  Well, that mine gave out a while ago. Now the docs are on their own for the most part.


But going back to the confession.  Just as I was FINALLY almost off all sugar ("detoxing" was really and truly hard this time), I ate something I never eat anymore: potato chips!


Now the good news is that afterwards I slept - and well.  The bad news is I ate a huge bag of chips. And y'all just know it didn't stop there!  Ben and Jerry's followed with brownies.  Yuck!  


But I'm officially washing the slate clean and starting anew.  So here are the latest things I'm going to work on because we are talking about a beached whale here!  (Too ill to do much moving, BP perilously low, nothing helping pain, blacking out each time I get up, migraines galore, all senses heightened even more than the usual...you get my drift.)


- So, on the diet front, eating "my healthy way" is just not gelling as well as usual, though I will certainly keep on trying.  I have to.  I need to feel better.  Hubby better get into this but a problem is that just last week he made me a wonderful salmon dinner and I almost barfed.  (Uh...I guess anything that swims is out.)


- After yesterday's post about the hormones and sleep, I must come up with a better sleep plan.  I've been thinking of various ways to work on this (as if I haven't all these decades?) but I hope yesterday's post was a huge shot in the arm, or kick to my be-hind, whichever!  So pep talks to self will commence. ("Haranguing" may be the more accurate word.)


- I need to make up menus - something I've been meaning to do for I have no idea how many years.   This way, instead of going through the whole thing of, "what do you want to eat," and "well, what do you have?" going back and forth for (literally) a couple of hours, we can make a list for the week from the "Irene" menu.  And, strangely enough, food, for the first time ever (other than in November) holds no appeal to me.  I derive no satisfaction from it.  However, I'm still always hungry, something that should have ended a couple of days ago.


- must teach hubby portion control.  (Losing battle!)


- need to take those vitamins religiously (Post coming up soon, I swear!)


- drink more water, especially before a meal. (It's just water, self, and I don't need to climb Mt. Everest to get it, for heaven's sake!)


- a weekly IV nutritional, similar to a Myer's cocktail.


-be more precise and consistent as to the hour I get my HGH shot, etc.


I was struck by the line from yesterday's post where the researcher found that with not enough sleep, no matter how much a "subject" ate, they were never satisfied.  Bingo!   My life in just a few words!  And THIS is precisely why I think sleep and food and their relationship to each other absolutely need more research.


There's not much money for the Big Pharma's regarding CFIDS/ME/fibro.  But there is a HECK of a market out there for insomnia and pain. (Just watch the commercials during the network 6 PM news shows!)


We just need to figure out how to make Big Pharma's realize these things and see the market for profit for these illnesses.  I think then we'll start seeing a huge and quick amount of info coming forth that would help us tremendously in the CFIDS/ME/fibro, insomnia, migraine world, as well as many other diseases or disorders.


What do YOU think?  Any other ideas for helping us put on our most gracious faces?   Because yesterday was not one of my more gracious days and that shames me.


At any rate, hope all are feeling the best they can be, only better!  Here's to a terrific weekend, however and wherever you spend it, with some mighty good sleep!

Just Thinking: The Sleep and Weight Connection

                                                They look so deceptively cute when they're asleep!


Just in the last few days I've sort of been browsing the Internet to see if there were any good ideas left that I'd not considered regarding weight loss, or ideas I'd forgotten (very likely!).  It's strange how most of those who have CFIDS/ME/fibro and insomnia tend to have weight issues and everyone seems to blame the meds which need to be taken (valid point) and the inactivity, for legitimate reasons, on the part of the  patients (also a valid point).  However, the vast majority of "us" have too much weight and the lesser percentage of patients with these issues tend to have trouble keeping weight on.


What, pray tell, is it that makes for one group to gain and the other to have trouble keeping weight on?  It just doesn't seem to be all medicine and not enough activity, at least not in my case.  I've done a lot of thinking about it, thought back to my own early days of this illness and then thought about those whom I've personally known with the illness(es).


I'm not sure if anyone has looked into one theory I've come up with.  When I mentioned this to one of my doctors recently, he said that he'd never thought about it quite the way I had.  I tend to do a LOT of thinking, much of it outside the box, and I also have an awful lot of time on my hands, so, what else is there to do BUT think?


And so I can't help wondering if there isn't another huge factor involved here?


Could it be that in the first stages of this illness, sleeping so much in the beginning of CFIDS/ME may affect our appetite and weight?  I've stayed away from the sleep issue thus far mainly.  It's such a difficult and complex subject and each time I start a post on it, everything gets all jumbled up.  I want to get it ALL out there and can't seem to manage the "baby steps" approach.  I'm hoping that today's effort actually works!


In recent years it's become clear that when it comes to sleep - or lack of it - there are many hormones at play - and they all heavily influence our gaining or losing weight.  Basically, the less you sleep, the more poundage you put on, the more (as well as better sleep - very important point!) you sleep, the less poundage you put on.  I have to resort to simple explanations because I'm not a scientist, after all, only a patient. But what brought the sleep and weight relationship to the fore was when studies started to home in on appetite and specifically, research on the hormones leptin and ghrelin.  Doctors say that both can influence our appetite and studies have shown that production of both may be influenced by how much or how little we sleep.


Suddenly doctors saw that if a patient experienced a sleepless night followed by a day when no matter what the patient ate, he/she never felt full and/or satisfied, these doctors surmised that the patient was experiencing the workings of leptin and ghrelin.  According to the Atlanta School of Sleep Medicine "Leptin and ghrelin work in a kind of 'checks and balances' system to control feelings of hunger and fullness. Ghrelin, which is produced in the gastrointestinal tract, stimulates appetite, while leptin, produced in fat cells, sends a signal to the brain when you are full."


So what's the connection to sleep? "When you don't get enough sleep, it drives leptin levels down, which means you don't feel as satisfied after you eat. Lack of sleep also causes ghrelin levels to rise, which means your appetite is stimulated, so you want more food."


The two combined, the sleep specialists say, can set the stage for overeating, which in turn may lead to weight gain.

There's a whole lot more to this whole thing, but these are the latest basics. And I'm so glad the docs have finally figured it out - I've been telling them for at least 30 years but no one listened!  At least one neuro acknowledged his amazement and asked, "how did you know?"  My answer: "YOU try living my life and you'd know too!"  Note to doctors: please listen to your patients!


So, if in the early stages a patient with CFIDS/ME and fibro, sleeps a great deal of the time, can that explain why that person fails to keep weight on while others - ones who don't sleep - have trouble keeping it off?  I remember that when hubby and I first got married, he was shocked at how much I slept on the weekends.  We both remember my arriving home from work on Fridays and sleeping through till Sunday, on the living room couch, still in my work clothes, in our teeny tiny NYC apartment with hubby moving around and not waking me in the slightest.  


And is there a point where things get switched around?  That is, because of all too many factors, "we" eventually start having trouble sleeping: because pain sets in and interferes with any sleep patterns, as do school and deadlines, colicy babies, and so the hormones are off again and weight is put on, big time?


There are so many more issues at play here, but I did want to at least start this unorthodox dialogue.  I, personally, am really scared of the whole sleep bit.  It's getting harder and I'm getting older and I simply don't have the stamina needed to fall asleep - it's so much work -  because make no mistake, sleeping with no schedule, not enough hours for any period of time, and the lack of good quality sleep, all takes a huge toll on you.  However, at night I'm definitely not desperate enough to take rohypnol, the date rape drug one neurologist insisted on for two years!  Ambien has caused me enough trouble, thank you very much.  I'm not even going to mention the mess Lunesta got me into!  I'm trying to cut back as much as possible with those meds which make me gain weight (because I find it easier to function with less weight rather than more weight) and, of course, I check and recheck all my meds to keep track of side-effects which might interfere with sleep. I don't take ANY chances of ingesting anything that might interfere with sleep.


Is sleep the bane of people's existence out there, too?   Don't be shy. We'd love to hear others' experiences.


Here's to everyone feeling their absolute best, only better!

Trying To Be Productive As Well As Amused

Birchbox on the left and Beauty Bar on the right: love the earphones, the Jouer and the Sisley!

I know that signing up for beauty subscription services may be rather passé but even though others may be bored with them, I'm absolutely thrilled to have signed up for a couple.  Color me easily amused and quite bored - even desperate if you must - but I think that they're a bit of fun - perhaps because I need a life?  (I'll not take that bet - it's too easily lost!)  


At any rate, when I signed up for Birchbox and BeautyBar three months ago, I didn't realize that receiving four or five beauty samples twice a month (one from each company) would turn into something I would look forward to like a young, budding, in-training, teenaged prima donna at Christmas.  Yes, color me easily entertained too; however, I also recognize the fortuitous timing as I'm supposed to be on strict bed rest for the next month. (Yes, I still sound like a seal when I cough!)


I can see myself eventually becoming bored with the concept but for the moment they serve my purposes.  Both companies send out boxes that are somewhat tailored to one's tastes. They wanted my approximate age (good since that increases the chances of anti-aging products and decreases the teeny-bopper products I have no one to pass along to), they know I'm not especially into hair products (I've given up on experimentation with my hair as a lost cause, product-wise: I stick to a few must-have's and call it a day) and they're aware of a few other "facts" about me, such as I tend to like a conservative look and not cutting edge, though I must admit to a surprising fondness for the turquoise nail polish that came in the other day.


Thank goodness I have this bit of "fluff" in my life because whenever I go through a bad spell (understatement of the decade) I tend to go a bit off track with my entire life (is this a post for understatements or what???) and that all adds to my spiraling downward until I can finally say "enough!" and figure out some sort of mind game that will force me back on track.  This week I've tried quite a few things with no luck, so I'm putting it out there via this blog in order to shame myself back into "order."  Here is how I'm starting "back," if I can keep myself at the level I am right now and not get even a smidgen worse.   If I can get through five days of this, I'll have a good chance of succeeding:


1. Weigh myself each day and RECORD the number on my calendar. My 20-lb. weight gain is downright depressing but the worst is over, I hope, since I DID finally force myself onto the darn scale, a huge move.  And, BTW, I record my weight in code...I'm NOT crazy!


2. Cut out all sugar. That includes fruit and that honey I don't even like!


3. Go back to "food combining," or my version of it. I'm convinced that all of us do best on some foods and worse on others and it's up to us to see which work best for our individual selves.  That is, don't listen to the so-called experts - after all, they change their minds as often as Seattle changes its weather, about every ten minutes from what I've heard.  You know your body best, so listen to it and learn from it.  Food fads come and go why?  Because a certain percent of the population can be always be found to be successful with any kind of diet. (A topic for another day!)


4. Go back to taking my vitamins religiously. (More later on this too!)


5. Start back to what is over-the-top hygiene for me, a person with CFIDS/ME, fibromyalgia, pain, sleep problems and migraines, crazy temperature fluctuations several times a day accompanied by sweats.  For some reason this really helps, though paradoxically I have to be careful and not over-do it.  Overdoing anything at all can accelerate the pain and insomnia for heaven-knows-what reason(s).  So, it's all a rather bizarre balancing act.


6. Drink tons of water. Yes, it sounds so pathetic to say that I've been too weak to even drink enough water, but it's true nonetheless.  In fact, all these "goals" are so easily obtained for the "normal" person but feel like bucket list items for "us."


So, I'll let you know how things come along. I have GOT to get myself in gear.   Summer's almost over and I've accomplished almost nothing!  Worse, the remodeling has stalled because of my being too sick to have anyone in the house, which puts me into another downward spiral.  If we don't get our walls painted soon, I may have to go jump off the nearest cliff as I can't bare the thought of another holiday with scarred walls, little furniture and certain rooms filled to the rafters so yet other rooms can be worked on.


What a truly crazy life I lead: I haven't been to our local mall in at least five years but shopped at the Petronas Towers just a few weeks ago.  Surely there must be a happy medium!  (Huge goal: TJ Maxx and Michael's, which I've never even been to!)  Perhaps the subscription service is one easy possibility that will lead to more.  At this point I must keep in mind that thing I sooo hate to say to myself: baby steps.  Annoying?  You betcha! I was never a baby-step person, not even as a baby, but it'd be great if I could get myself to feel just a tad human again and start getting some feelings of accomplishment!


Here's to all feeling their best, only better!


Have you tried a subscription service and if so, what did/do you think of them?

Finding needles in haystacks while dieting.

Eating my way through England in the late '80's.

If ever any of my three (charming) kids to look at this post, a massive cry would arise, I just know it.  You see, they already think that I'm an eating well/healthy eating crusader, as well as a believer that food will cure all. Well, I'm not - not really.

...Although there IS my constant threat/dream to start a demonstration in front of every supermarket in the US with young women, mothers, grandmothers of the world united, carrying placards that declared that 95% of the food in said stores is dangerous to our health.  Hugely dangerous!  But I'm coming perilously close to digressing, and that's for another post, so on with it!  

I'm always amazed at how much healthier I feel after I've been eating well.  Actually, perhaps not "healthy," but instead how much cruddier I feel after eating "well" for a while, then sneaking in one of my "forbidden" foods and suddenly feeling incredibly worse...migraines, brain fog, huge pain, and the myriad of other symptoms and problems which then come out in spades and/or are intensified.  

I suppose the first time I really and truly noticed this was back in the early '90's.  I'd gone on a diet determined to lose the fat and poundage I'd put on after seeing a CFIDS specialist (one of a few already and one of many to come) who thought regular steroids would be the answer.  I'd made peace with the decision and since I was already bathed, dressed, made up and out of bed, hubby and I decided to stop by a department store on our trip home in order to buy some clothes that would fit me once I put on the inevitable at-the-very-least 20-pound weight gain I have always gotten from just one shot of steroids, as in the occasional bout with poison ivy or other nasty thing deserving steroids.  

Well, to make a long story short, my CFIDS, ME/CFS, fibromyalgia, migraines, insomnia, and so forth, symptoms got no better.  In fact, I would say that they got much worse.  And I did not have a 20-pound gain but a 40-plus pound weight gain.  Putting on all that weigh made it even harder to move around, the pain got much worse.  The migraines were so bad, in fact, that I was in the ER just about every week.  

In those days, the "best" treatment for migraines was a DHE-45 IV drip in the ER which took a couple of hours to administer.  It worked like a charm but was a pain because I have a phobia of needles and a good "stick" is hard to find.  But the ER docs got to the point where they could take one look at me, talk to hubby and immediately see if a quick Demerol shot would work or if I needed the dreaded DHE-45 infusion.  

I thought my migraines would be a cinch to deal with once Imitrex came out, in shot form.  Holy cow, was I ever wrong.  The migraine would go into stratospheric heights and knowing I sounded very crazy I nevertheless couldn't stop screaming from the worsening migraine that the Imitrex induced.  Then after about 6-8 hours, if I were lucky, the migraine would magically go away.  Too often, however, the migraine did not go away and I'd need a second shot, screaming, sweating, shaking, trembling...it was a sight out of "The Exorcist," minus the head turning. 

Back in the late '80's, the migraines had become so bad that my first lumbar puncture was done.  When elevated proteins were found in my spinal fluid, everyone scrambled about getting me scheduled for a CT scan, others were trying to figure out who would be doing a removal of my brain tumor because that's what an elevated protein level in the spinal fluid meant back then, whereas hubby worried how he'd miss his young wife and how he'd manage life with three little children who had no mother.  It was a scary 24 hours until everyone found out that there was, indeed, no tumor in my brain.  

On the other hand, when I was lucid enough to think, I was furious with everyone. I didn't have a diagnosis yet as to what was wrong with me, but I KNEW that something serious was going on.  How was it, I wondered, that the elevated spinal fluid would scare the heck out of doctors one day and not be a sign of anything wrong the next? Come on guys, use the brain God gave you, the logic college taught you, and the physician's training medical school gave you.  There IS some sort of problem.  It's not just a yes or a no!  

But everyone was happy, other than me, of course.  That was the infamous year when I spent more days in the hospital than at home, popping in and out of hospitals as if they were my home away from home.  Hospital dietitians particularly got on my nerves because they kept trying to trick me into diets I'd long ago surmised did not influence my health.  I'm sure there are exceptions to the rule, but one the whole, I've found that most hospital dietitians are the most ignorant group on God's good earth when it comes to food.  Think about hospital food for a moment and you'll understand what I mean.  

At any rate, getting back to the steroid fiasco, I stopped the shots and was determined to lose the 40 pounds I'd put on, not an easy feat.  For some reason, regular weight goes off rather well with determination, but steroid weight gain is almost an impossibility to get off.  It takes me at least a couple of YEARS to budge even 20 pounds.

But I heard about a new diet on one of those evening magazine shows and decided I had nothing to lose but weight, so why not try it?  

It was called "The Monignac Diet," "invented" by a Frenchman who worked in the US for an extended period of time, had a history of extra poundage he wanted to lose, and was horrified by French young ladies who spent time in the US and came home fat.  Nutritionists and dietitians around the world were divided on the efficacy of the diet, most very much against this new-fangled concept of a glycemic index, but given my opinion of nutritionists and dietitians, I thought that was reason enough to try it.  

The diet basically divided meals into ones which were fat/protein or carbs.  Never could the two groups meet. Furthermore, carbs were divided into "good" carbs and "bad" carbs.  There were also some "no-no's," such as sugar, corn products, potatoes (a killer for me since I consider potatoes "Russian/Ukrainian penicillin").  This is all a simplistic explanation, of course.  This was also my first venture into the low-glycemic world.  In fact, Montignac is now, after his death, known as the "father" of the glycemic approach to diet, eating, weight gain/loss, health and so forth.

Well, it was a surprisingly easy diet to stay on.  I lost 20 pounds but then hit a plateau - a plateau I could not for the life of me get myself off of.  

One night, complaining about the darn plateau, observant hubby suddenly said, "you know, you haven't had a migraine since you started that French diet."  I looked at him as if he'd suddenly grown a monstrous second head but I often give him that sort of look.  

"Think about it," he said.  This time he got a dirty look.  One of my hobbies is thinking...was he actually telling me to think when he's always telling me to think LESS???

Suddenly I jumped out of bed and ran to the dresser where we kept all of my migraine meds, including the dreaded needles.  My supply of needles looked full.  I checked the date on the Imitrex - and it was expired.  WAY expired!  I looked at the rest of my migraine arsenal and everything was old. 

This was way too easy.  Hubby said, "I think you may have lost only 20 pounds but more importantly, you lost your migraines too."  That was such a corny statement that he got another, deserved, "look" from me.

Not wanting to leave things well enough alone and being a contrarian, or just a person who likes proof, I looked at him devilishly and said, "I want a burger."  You see, bread, a carb, and beef, fat/protein, mixed together were a definite no-no.  Hubby looked at me as if I were nuts but knew arguing would do no good.  I finally ate my hamburger with extreme relish and got my migraine, in spades.  Too bad I hadn't planned things out: the migraine was one of my better ones and because the meds at home were all expired, a run to the ER was needed.

It took me some time to accept the reality that I had hit a cure for my migraines.  This was really huge.  As a child I got bad headaches but my mom believed that children don't get headaches, they just caused them - in adults!  I learned great coping mechanisms, one of which was washing floors, de-waxing and waxing floors on my hands and knees whenever I had a "headache" coming on.  I didn't even realize I was doing this but always had incredibly sparkling floors. 

All of this denial came to an end, however, when I went blind in one eye for a few days while in my second pregnancy. It was a migraine equivalent seen at times with women who suffer severe migraines.  I argued with my neuro-opthomologist that I don't even get mild headaches when my hubby came out a state of shock and said, "You ALWAYS get headaches!" Was I complaining but not hearing nor registering those complaints? 

After challenging the "French Diet" a few times, I realized that for me, at least, this was one answer to my migraine problem.  I've had good years and bad years as to how well I stick to this way of eating.  At the moment I'm not doing too well because of too many reasons to bore you with at the moment.  

But how incredible was the luck that led us to this "cure"?  Had we not been using needles back then and had Imetrix not intensified my headaches before ridding me of them, the connection might not have been made. Today, with a medication in pill form that works like a charm, I'm not as invested about avoiding the foods and eating patterns that lead to a migraine.  Pop that pill and forget about what harm I may be causing myself due to side-effects not even yet imagined.  However, now that I've put this in writing and told so many about it, perhaps I've finally given myself the push I need to get back on the French diet band wagon.  

Goodbye to my wonderful potatoes, my wonderful Russian/Ukie cure-all for a while.  Perhaps I'll have some mashed ones tonight as a farewell, right before I have a piece of sugar-laden cake for my wonderful daughter's birthday.  It's tough to say goodbye to those "poisons."