tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7385285973919124831.post2372894110399440334..comments2024-03-12T01:33:14.862-04:00Comments on Laughing from my sickbed...: My Big Decisionirene speakshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15306297235592610766noreply@blogger.comBlogger2125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7385285973919124831.post-1323445352664878412013-01-01T19:58:19.028-05:002013-01-01T19:58:19.028-05:00Sophie, I know (or believe) it's harder for yo...Sophie, I know (or believe) it's harder for you than for the boys b/c as parents we'll do anything for our children. When my daughter was in and out of a "major medical center," I was suddenly with her 24/7, yet before she became suddenly ill (described in this blog in many places, if you're curious - search box and/or label cloud) my hubby, the boys (adult), my doctors, everyone would have sworn that I had no more adrenaline left. But I realize now that I was suddenly like the proverbial mom that holds up the car to save her trapped child. Especially freaky, just weeks before my daughter got so horribly ill, I suddenly got very strong and had much energy, sleeping, nothing I'd felt since 1975. My guardian angel, I'm convinced, took care of me and pepped me up for the disaster about to come. <br />Anyway, we'd bring her home after a few weeks and would just die, unable to move at all (big reason why I'm coming down with so many things suddenly, it was a two-year ordeal w/her dad and me totally knackered). However, she almost died so many times that I HAD to be there 24/7 and her dad and I agree (as do our local doctors, who are excellent, BTW, and could be in any major medical center they wanted, our town is unique that way for many reasons) that w/out the full efforts of the family, she wouldn't be w/ us. It was horrid: much incompetency (though not for her unique surgeries, but everything else!), bad luck out the wazoo and uniqueness of her illness, etc.<br /> <br />I was also mad b/c I thought I had a covenant that protected my kids. If I had to be sick, I could accept being so in return for my kids' health. That "deal" was most certainly blown out of the water!<br /> <br />So, really, I do get frustrated, but mostly I get mad that, b/c, as I said, my kids were supposedly off limits. I pray and hope your boys improve their health. It looks and sounds like they have a lion and lioness helping them. Our kids are our kids whatever their age. <br /><br />And I'll try not to beat myself up. You called it: I am indeed my own worst enemy and try to do all, accomplishing nothing, just feeling extreme guilt that I can't work myself into healthy mom/wife/BFF. This is the first Christmas that, despite all, I was not involved in non-stop cooking and then we ate around my bed. (I just go nuts killing myself doing it all, ending up in the hospital more than a few times before, during and after holidays.) I was happy eating in bed however, as my daughter was there, alive and well, knock on wood. I hope you see your boys with much improved health. They so deserve it, as do YOU!!! Your boys are precisely why I get so angry with the CDC, NIH, the so-called specialists supposedly on our side, and a plethora of other things! xxxirene speakshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15306297235592610766noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7385285973919124831.post-73526569025512482572013-01-01T16:45:20.565-05:002013-01-01T16:45:20.565-05:00It is good to have plans but don't beat yourse...It is good to have plans but don't beat yourself up if you can't manage them all though. Managing what you can must be a bonus for you and give you a buzz I know it does the boys however small it may be. You know what you are doing being ill for so long you must get so frustrated, I know we do seeing our boys lives pass them by. Each day as it comes we tell our boys if you can mange it do it if you can't then another time. Whatever works for you at that time new bodies would be good can we buy them? Sophie xx :)Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08393351068597804556noreply@blogger.com